#here and there i get an urge to see some fandom stuff on tumblr

[mathmusicreading]

Blog(ger) Shift

I am, so weird and bad about original posting and about reblogging and about saving things on Tumblr and that's why my blog has been mostly inactive or the lurking consumer type. But I don't want my fears about putting myself out there, being seen and known, articulating myself well vs. having been told my whole life I'm too wordy and opinionated vs. not managing to articulate myself well enough to justify being verbose and passionate, etc. to continue to control me so much.

So for my new specific-interest sideblog that I'm not locking, I hope it being themed will help me with making more original posts and reblogging, and I'm publicizing that here to push myself and also welcome interaction.

RIP to my other public specific-interest sideblog and the fandom sideblog I took over for someone that I didn't take further and to my private sideblogs that were meant to make me reblog and save and say stuff because they would be personal and just for me. I still would like to make those happen and reblogging and posting things that matter to me here, and oh my heart for the content ideas I haven't been working on, but they're pipedreams with how I'm (not) managing my life and I keep kicking those cans down the road.

To the person who I developed a real relationship with as a beta but who by now I probably count as having disappeared on with how long it's been and my not coming back to explicitly say I still can't help and don't know when I can, I am so sorry. I'm being a coward languishing in hoping I can tell you soon that I can get back into beta-ing for you and talking, but that's turned into me not talking to you because I'm waiting to be able to say something positive. Hopefully my vaguing here can help push me into talking to you, or at least this is here for you to read if you happen to see it; and I want you to know you absolutely can talk to me, can call me out, and if you're so gracious as to still want to be friends with me and just chat despite my dropping being your beta, I'm here for you and still want to be your friend even if I don't know if I'll have the spoons to be a good one and I know my saying that preemptively isn't apology or justification enough.

Honest assessment, I'm going to curse and say my living situation and work have both become even more of a shitshow, and with those things in mind I can't begin to imagine handling a real project until basically literally a year from now.

Which segues back into the main topic of this post. My goal isn't to have my new sideblog be like an active mainblog nor to abandon this blog—people interested in that blog can and should still interact with me here given how primary vs. secondary blogs on Tumblr work, and in terms of using that blog to help make me be a better Tumblr user, I think I should make certain original posts here and reblog them there as opposed to them being original there. With my mental-emotional and time resources, I want that blog to be "active" for a given definition of active, but really I think I should see my objective as "clear out tabs and likes and photos and lists and notes and drafts, etc. from the last four months" by saving stuff there, as opposed to my goal being the original posts I want to make there, and actually my long-term goal should be to use that momentum to do the same for older digital and physical storage that hasn't been lost or stolen. In my failure to be an interesting person, do I at least manage to be fascinating as a basket-case? Ha. But, also, as expressed above the Read More, the exercise of my danmei/Chinese sideblog is supposed to be a foray into me allowing myself to be an interesting person.

[waitmyturtles]

Have you read any of the Thai academic papers regarding MAME's work? sometimes I feel like fandom at large has a very strong western bias towards her that borders on xenophobia in review of anything attached to her unless it's more low stakes gmmtv style stuff like wedding plan was which suits western sensibilities more.

Hi, Non! This is interesting framing you've put forth here. I want to note that I'm close with some folks, particularly @bengiyo and @lurkingshan, whose critical tastes I trust, and I can assure myself that they would not call Wedding Plan low stakes. During my Old GMMTV Challenge project, I promised myself that I would not watch another MAME show after Love By Chance and TharnType, and I've taken Ben's and Shan's urging to chuck that aside to add Wedding Plan to my OGMMTVC syllabus, which I'll get to after my summer travels. Let me take a second to sort this all out in a more sensible and chronological answer to touch upon what I know about MAME now that I'm much more read into Thai BLs and the history of the genre.

Regarding academia and MAME, I have not read Thai source material on her start and her legacy in Thai Y novel writing and Thai BL/Series Y television productions. What I am in the midst of reading at the moment is Dr. Thomas Baudinette's Boys Love Media in Thailand (Baudinette hailing from Australia), and he does get in depth with MAME's beginnings, which for me was the first primary source material that I have encountered about her background. To summarize quickly, MAME (along with individuals like INDRYTIMES/Kwang Latika, who wrote the original novel for Love Sick, and others) was part of the first crop of young middle-to-upper-class female college students who became enamored with Japanese BL/yaoi manga, as well as (in many cases) K-pop idols, and began writing fan fiction about and/or in the styles of these interests, which led to the development of the unique Thai Y novel genre.

It does seem to me, at least on Tumblr, that a good chunk of Western fandom here has written off MAME. I'm Asian-American, and I come to my hesitation about MAME from a particularly Asian perspective, so I really can't speak for the non-Asian fans about what they're rejecting. Let me at least explain what I'm rejecting, and how I've engaged in dialogue about it with critical friends here.

LBC did not have as much of what I will attempt to describe as I saw in TharnType, something that I might now call collectivist homophobia or collectivist bias. But LBC had a smattering of it, something that I smelled early on in that series. In both series, MAME seemed to approach her characters, to me, with a distanced hand of judgement that, to me, recalled the kinds of biases that my Asian parents tried to implant in me in my childhood, that I rejected throughout my young years. Queer material is so very often not good to its queer characters, and it seemed to me through LBC and TT that MAME intended to gild that lily to channel a populist homophobia that she seemed to know would resonate with a broader fanbase -- which it did, in part, because TharnType in particular was the first Thai BL with heat in every episode.

(Two things to note about my review of TharnType that I penned last year. First item to note is that Boys Love Media in Thailand had not been published yet, and I had not read primary source material about MAME. I was enraged at the time about fan theories that MAME had been a victim of sexual assault, and had therefore written her queer characters with the biased vitriol that I perceived coming from her because of that theorized past. I still think these theories are equivocating and problematic. Second item is that I heavily recommend reading the reblogs of my TT review, tags and posts and all, to see literally the spectrum of commentary of the MAME fandom/anti-fandom across Tumblr. Writing that post and reading those reblogs was a hell of a great experience.)

Just to summarize this, then -- I choose to not engage with MAME because I see under- and overhanded bias in the work that I've watched, with my Asian eyes; and I just might assume that many Westerners see the same thing. But I don't really know, because I haven't talked to that many Western fans about the depth of this.

So what does this mean for this moment in time? I understand MAME's Love Sea is airing, which I'm not watching, and I missed the boat on Love In the Air -- so I think I'm missing some critical and/or catty chatter about those two shows from the fandom because I don't have context.

But I do know there are folks out there that either write MAME off wholly, likely for similar reasons that I've listed above, and/or hate-watch her shows and post about it. To each their own.

I would not have considered Wedding Plan if Ben and Shan weren't screaming about it. I'm happy to have fewer shows on my plate, I got no time. However.

Nothing in this world exists in a static vacuum. If MAME is experimenting with tone, approach, style, and even taste regarding her shows, then more power to her. @bengiyo's post linked above about Wedding Plan is important for me to see, because I see that he's noting that parts of the fandom may have actually demonstrated real homophobic dialogue about MAME's fictional characters, which, to me, I'm like, what? Really? You got time for that? But also:

If MAME, back in 2019 with TharnType, picked up that her Thai and global fanbases were more inclined to check in with collectivist homophobia, as I'm calling it.... and now, in 2023-2024, has noted that her fanbases might be far more inclined to support real queer equality and overtones in shows, and is including those themes in her work -- can we not welcome that change in? That's why I'll give Wedding Plan a shot.

Let's be sassy and ironic for a second. Could she be making this change for da money and the fame? Sure. But -- capitalism unfortunately rules this world. Car commercials in the States have interracial queer couples parenting children nowadays. If equality talks to money, then content makers will take note. I think I'd be a hypocrite to say that MAME shouldn't make her dollar, all while she's experimenting with more equitable stances.

Last note. There's been quite the dialogue simmering these past few weeks about GMMTV's We Are, and whether or not GMMTV is stepping away from a past where many (not all, but many) of its shows explored queerness in depth. He's Coming To Me, Bad Buddy, Dark Blue Kiss (yes... the first three shows I listed were Aof Noppharnach shows, fuck), Theory of Love, 3 Will Be Free. The major GMMTV BL/GL shows that have aired recently that have made huge waves on social media -- Only Friends, 23.5, Last Twilight, and now My Love Mix-Up -- were/are helmed by branded (capitalism, hello!) pairs, and three out of four of them were flops, with MLMU already treading that territory in EPISODE TWO, for heaven's sake. (Y'all, read the reblogs on this post. Wow.) I finished a rewatch of The Eclipse weeks ago, and I'm dragging my feet on my review, because of what I think that show represents for what branded pairs end up doing to otherwise original content.

I want to posit a theory, that I'll work more on when my OGMMTVC is over, that we have living, real-time proof that the branded pair system is failing good content -- because these shows have to produce engagement snippets of these pairs, instead of more broadly penetrating artistic content. GMMTV's one-off shows with non-branded pairs, like Be My Favorite and Wandee Goodday, are FAR MORE INTERESTING content-wise, varied and inquisitive in their artistic takes on queerness. Even Cherry Magic, featuring the long-awaited return of TayNew, felt fresh, because we literally hadn't seen TayNew in FIVE YEARS. Tay actually KISSED ANOTHER DUDE, shocker!, in 3 Will Be Free. I want to go back to those days, where the pairs could act well outside of their range and their business partners, instead of being limited to the same tone and style that their pairings and their fandoms demand.

I say ALL OF THIS, because isn't it interesting that GMMTV seems to be reverting on a scale of inquisitiveness about queerness -- and MAME seems to be going in the opposite direction?

I would not have expected it. But I have found, lately, some of GMMTV's "takes" on "queerness," as in Only Friends, to be outright offensive. This corporation has become far more gunshy to let their branded pairs just be fictionally gay. If MAME wants to take on a healthier stance of equity, and to play around with more realistic depictions of what it means to be queer in Thailand, then go for it, girl. I will admittedly be watching Wedding Plan with my Asian side-eye and my smell tests for bias, but I look forward to being proven wrong about my suspicions. I want to be a responsible fan here, open to MAME's changes.

This ended up being a lot, but thank you for provoking these thoughts, Non.

[detectivemarvelingcomics]

Not Your Classic Vigilante [Ch. 14]

Alternate Dimension AU TW: Language, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Mild Body Horror, Gore, Graphic Depictions of Monstrous Attacks, Gun Use, Weapon Use, Past Major Character Death CW: OC Use, See the OC Guide [Here] Genre: Drama, Action, Angst, Light Comedy Pairing: Batfamily & Batsis!Reader, OC x Reader YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her) Word Count: 13.7K

(14/?) [First] | [Previous] | [Next] [DC Masterlist] | [Not Your Classic Vigilante Masterlist]

Notes: I know I KNOWWW SHE'S THICKKKKKKKK it's for my dick grayson lovers what can i say?

Disclaimer: This series is originally by@fandom-meanderer who is a close friend of mine, but she has since fallen out of her Tumblr days and asked me to finish a few series for her, hence why I am now in ownership of the Not Your Classic Vigilante series, I hope I can still live up to her writing as I rewrite this series! (I promise not to change too much, hehe)

2006

“Dad!” You were quick to run down the stairs when you’d heard the door open. Bruce took notice to you as soon as you bounded up to him and the smile on his face was one that always made you happy to see. Alfred walked up next to you, greeting Bruce silently.

“Hello, (Y/N), what were you up to while I was gone?” He asks.

“Well, I finally cleaned my room,” you rocked on your heels.

“Very good.”

“Alfred taught me how to play Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star on the piano.”

“I have to hear that.”

“And I played a little, but that’s it,” you gave him an exaggerated nod and he smiles.

“That’s good, (Y/N),” he smiles. “Now, I have a surprise for you,” he says. Your eyes widened with a childish excitement. Then, from behind him, an older boy steps out.

“Hiya,” he waves. You step back, head ducking down in shyness while you looked up at your dad. “I’m Dick, you must be (Y/N), right?” He steps forward, bending down to meet your eyes. You nodded carefully before running to your dad. You hid behind his leg and he rubs your head gently.

“He’ll be staying with us from now on,” your father explains. “You’re always saying how lonely it is here, right? He’s a bit older than you, but you’ll be spending a lot more time together,” your father urges you to step out and introduce yourself. Dick, still at your level, smiles softly.

“I heard a lot about you, (Y/N),” he says, “and if you’re okay with it, I hope we can become friends,” he reaches out to shake your hand, but you shy further behind your father.

“She’s usually not this shy,” your dad says above you.

“I think we just need to get to know each other more,” Dick responds. He leans over so he can meet your gaze and waves again. You hid your face.

“Alfred will help you get settled in, Dick, let me know if you need help with anything,” your dad says and Dick nods at him before following Alfred upstairs. After a while, Bruce stepped away from you slowly. “(Y/N),” his voice had a stern, but gentle tone.

“Dad…” you matched his tone.

“What’s wrong? You told me you wanted someone to talk to,” he crouches down to your level and you hid your hands behind your back.

“I know…” your voice was quiet.

“So, what’s wrong then?” He asks. It’s true. You’d long been asking for a friend, and while both of your parents would spend time with you, it simply wasn’t enough. Your dad was always busy doing business stuff, some adult things you didn’t understand no matter how many times uncle Lucius tried to explain it to you. And your mom was… well, something. She had to make a living by “borrowing” things, but strangely enough she never gave them back. You really just wanted someone to talk to, someone who you could play with, or someone you could spend time with. Someone your age, someone who didn’t keep secrets.

Your parents acted like you didn’t know, but you knew something was up. There were nights where your dad would leave saying he needed to get groceries and then come home with no groceries. Your mom would leave saying she’s meeting a friend and would come back with a bag full of her latest ‘shopping spree.’ But you knew they were hiding something, and as much as they told you that secrets were bad, they had so many, you had a feeling. So you wanted a friend, someone who was just like you.

And now you had one. But, something about it felt… wrong.

“Nothing,” you shook your head. The boy he brought home, he seemed friendly enough, and you were curious about him. But you couldn’t ignore this strange feeling in your chest. “Where did he come from?”

“Remember that circus you wanted to go to?”

“Mmhmm.”

“He’s from there.”

“Then… where are his parents?” Bruce hesitated.

“They’re off for a while, and they asked me to watch their son for now,” he says.

“They didn’t want to take him with them?”

“No, where they’re going is not meant for kids like you and him,” he explains. “So, for a while, he’ll be staying with us. Why don’t you get to know him, (Y/N)?”

“What if I don’t like him? Will you return him and get a new one?”

“That’s not exactly how this works, (Y/N),” your father laughs. “If you don’t like him at first, you’re going to have to learn how to get along with him somehow,” he says.

“Okay…” you mumbled.

“Why wouldn’t you like him, (Y/N)?”

“I dunno,” you shrugged.

“Exactly, go talk to him, be friendly,” Bruce encourages you.

“Okay,” you nodded your head and Bruce smiles before shaking your shoulder softly.

“Good, I’m going to get cleaned up, why don’t you say ‘Hello’ to Dick on your way up? He’s in the room across from you.”

“I will,” you nodded again and ran up the stairs.

You stopped in front of Dick’s room, the door was open and he was speaking to Alfred, quickly you hid behind the wall, not wanting to get caught by the old man. But it was their conversation that kept you hidden.

“Now, Master Grayson,” Alfred’s voice was stern, you’d only heard him speak like that to your father on occasion and you when you stole sweets. “Miss (Y/N) doesn’t know.”

“Really?”

“This must be kept a secret between you, me, and Master Bruce.” Secret? Well, that’s not fair. You wanted to know too. So much for a friend who didn’t keep secrets. There were so many around you, you were starting to think that you should keep secrets just to be like everyone else.

“And she never suspected?”

“She is only seven, Master Grayson, and not usually here on weekends,” Alfred sighs. “Master Bruce asks that you be careful.” 

“Yeah, okay,” Dick’s voice was quiet. “Does he plan on telling her?”

“When she’s older, yes. When she can understand it.” Does it count as a secret still if they’ll tell you when you’re older? You’ll just have to hurry up and grow up then!

“Sure, I got it.”

But, still, that’s not fair. You wanted to know now. But when you heard Alfred approaching the door, you knew better than to let yourself get scolded for eavesdropping, so you ran to your room and closed the door only slightly, just enough to watch Alfred leave, and once he was gone, you crept across the hallway. Dick was busy placing his items across the room, you peeked in slowly, waiting to see if he’d notice you, and soon enough he did. He raised his hand to wave, but you ducked behind the door frame instead.

“Hi, (Y/N),” he waits for you to approach him.

“Hello,” you said quietly.

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“It’s nice to meet you too.”

“Did you… want to come in?” He asks. You shook your head and he nods with a tight lipped smile. But, soon, you nodded your head and Dick let out a short laugh. “Come on in, then,” he invites you. You walked inside and sat on the desk chair while he continued unpacking.

“I have a secret,” you blurted. Dick turned to you, eyebrow raised.

“What’s that?”

“I… I have a secret stash of candy in my room,” you answered. It was secret enough, you’d been building a bit of a stockpile now. Dick cracks a smile, looking somewhat relieved.

“That’s some secret there, who else knows?”

“Just you,” you nodded. “You can’t tell anyone.”

“Okay.”

“Promise?”

“Friendly secret,” he makes a zipper motion over his mouth.

“Hmm… okay, I trust you,” you hummed. Dick smiled again, this time a bit tighter.

“I’m leaving now,” you hopped off.

“That’s fine! Thanks for dropping by,” he says. You nodded your head and ran across the hall to your room.

Dick, meanwhile, took a deep breath.

This was not what he signed up for when he agreed to help Bruce.

~

2022

The beast roared and, above you, a storm started to roll in.

“Well, talk about about a warm welcome,” you glanced at Jason and he shook his head.

“(Y/N)?! We ran up as soon as we saw you leave!” Tim and Damian regroup with you and you usher them behind you. Tim looks at the monster.

“When you said monsters, for some reason I didn’t think you meant legitamate monsters,” he says.

“Cap!” Aldryn rushes out of the barracks, your rifle and rapier in hand.

“Aldryn, I need you to run back down, bring Tim and Jason with you. You two, grab what you think you all can use,” you instructed. “I’ll handle things up here until you return, we’re going to need all hands on deck.”

“Yes, ma’am!” Aldryn salutes and waits for them to join him before rushing off again.

“Damian, I need you on crowd control,” you looked at him.

“What?! I can help!”

“Too bad, this is an order from your superior,” your voice was stern, and it took him aback, “crowd control. Make sure everyone is a safe distance away, am I clear?” You waited for his response.

“Yeah,” he nodded his head curtly before running off. You readied your rapier.

“Alright… let’s see what we’re working with,” you sprinted forward and the beast reached for you.

It’s going to be long day.

“Where are we going?” Tim asks.

“Weapons barracks,” Aldryn responds, running in after Jason and Tim. Jason grabs his usual while Tim looks around. “What are you looking for? If you can think of it, we have it.”

“Do you have a bo-staff then?” He asks. Aldryn hums.

“Yes, but you’ll have to come with me. Marion was using it earlier,” he mumbles. He leads him and Jason to the elevator and they descend.

“What was that thing?” Jason asks.

“We call them Daemons,” Aldryn speaks quietly. “We’ve dealt with monsters before, but none like them. They’re on a whole other level of power and now, beause of them, we’re short staffed,” Aldryn’s voice was grim. “Not exactly the best first operation for you two but, Cap’s orders.” The conversation ends when the elevator doors slide open.

“Aldryn!” Marion was surprised to see him, but more surprised to see the two behind him. “Do they have clearance?”

“They’re about to fight one up there, so I’d say so, yes,” Aldryn nods. 

“Holy shit, that’s one of them,” Jason eyes the beast in it’s cage. It snorts loudly but it becomes a low snarl. 

“Don’t worry about this one, since it’s in here it won’t be hurting anyone,” Marion says.

“No time for introductions, but this one here will be joining your research team once things settle down,” Aldryn points at Tim.

“Right, well, I’m assuming the Captain sent you down here for a reason, right?” Marion’s and Aldryn’s conversation were the least of Jason and Tim’s worries though. Jason looked over at Tim, who was looking at the beast.

“What are you thinking of, Tim?”

“Look at it, it’s just there,” Tim says. “The one outside is raising hell. Why is this one complacent?”

“Maybe it’s got something to do with all that stuff stuck to its cage.”

“Or maybe there’s more to it then they know,” Tim glances at Aldryn and Marion before approaching the cage.

“Whoa, Tim! Do you got a death wish?” Jason grabs Tim’s shoulder.

“It’s fine, they said it can’t hurt us,” Tim shakes him off and Jason follows close behind. “Also… this one’s different.”

“Can you really say that? You’ve only ever seen one other one.”

“Jason, it’s looking at me.”

“Okay. Wolves look at rabbits, what’s your point?”

“I can’t really explain it,” Tim mumbles. He stares at the monster. And it stares back. Then, slowly, it moves its head down and closer to the edge of the cage to match Tim’s eye level.

“You! Get back right now!” Marion’s voice was shrill and Tim broke eye contact. “How did you get it to respond to you?!” She pulls him away.

“I… I just looked-”

“Just like the Captain,” she mutters. She looks at Aldryn before shoving the bo-staff into Tim’s hands. “We’ll talk about this later, the Captain needs you first.

“Right, yeah,” Tim nods shortly and Aldryn motions for them to leave. But Jason looks at the beast a bit longer. Come to think of it, Tim had a point. This one was different. And, before he left, Jason’s eyes moved down to the floor, looking at the disturbed section of it where Tim was standing seconds before. “Jason!”

“I’m coming, I’m coming,” Jason catches up with them.

And they returned just in time too.

“Ma’am!” Aldryn returns with your brothers as soon as you’d been pushed back from the blows. You moved the hair out of your face and caught your breath.

“Good. Aldryn, stay close to the Royal family, tell them I have it under control. If you run into any of the new recruits, tell them they’re on civilian duty,” you instructed. The Daemon roars again and a gust of wind blows behind it. Aldryn runs off.

“So, what do we do? Where are its weak points?” Tim asks.

“Their stomachs, maybe,” you answered.

“Maybe?!” Tim steps back when the Daemon finally takes notice of the group.

“Better a maybe than none,” you looked around.

“Captain! What’s the situation?” Eve appears next to you with the rest of the Brigade stepping out of the portal after. You pointed at the Daemon.

“Only one for now,” you mumbled.

“Holy shit it’s huge,” Nixon swallows harshly. You heard someone scream and your eyes scanned the courtyard. Then, you spotted Lowen cornered by yet another Daemon, noticeably smaller than the other one and with a visible streak of red fur running down from the top of it’s head to the tip of its tail. You hope that didn’t mean anything, nothing bad at least.

“Make it two, you all focus on this one, I’ve got the second!” You slung your rifle over your shoulder and readied your rapier while you ran over to him. “Lowen! Lower your head!” Lowen did so and you used the planter to boost your leverage before burying the rapier into the Daemon’s shoulder. The monster roared and tried to blindly grab at you, but you held your ground, holding your rifle with your other hand while clutching onto the handle of your sword and you pressed it to it’s other shoulder and pulled the trigger. The beast roared again before it grabbed your arm and threw you back where you came. You slid against the ground before slamming into the next planter and you groaned.

“Shake it off, Cap,” Carter pulls you up.

“Oh my god! Your arm!” Tim shouts, tearing his eyes away from the first Daemon for a second. You stand up and pick up your ripped-off arm.

“At least it threw both pieces,” Nixon winces when lightning struck a few paces away from him. You held it in place while the muscles reattached and, while it did, you felt every nerve reconnect and every muscle bind itself back together. The worst of it was to come, the bones were always the last to rebuild. You grit your teeth through the pain and once enough has reconnected you readied your rifle again, confidently holding it in one hand, and you fired it while aiming for the second Daemon’s foot, staggering it long enough for Lowen to scramble back.

“Oh, that is sick and twisted,” Jason looks away, holding his hand over his mouth and you readjusted the previous death grip on your rapier.

“No time for that, focus on the big one,” you ran back toward the second monster and Tim followed you. He dashed past you, stepping in front of Lowen just in time to counter the blow from the Daemon. “Tim! Hold your ground!”

“I’m trying!” Tim tightens his hold on the staff, his knuckles turning white from the pressure alone while Lowen stays frozen beneath him. You slide under the monster, your rapier piercing the Daemons stomach just enough for it to stagger back.

“Eve!”

“Got it!” Eve waves her hand toward your Daemon and in seconds it is held by down by an invisible force, but it fought back, it struggled against its restraints until it broke free and Eve lost her footing. It stood on its feet and locked its aim on you, it foamed at the mouth while it took heavy steps toward you and made grabbing motions toward you. Tim stood at your side all the way, staff now in front of you, when two shots rang out and Jason was next to step in front of you.

“Jay, you can’t take this in a fist fight,” you told him.

“I know,” he says. The beast snorts, looking Jason in the eye. It growls lowly. “Take the kid and go, I got this,” he says. You shook Lowen out of his fear and pulled him to safety. “Alright…” Jason continues his staredown of this monster, and never once did it stop. But there was this strange feeling he got from it, like it was familiar in a sense. Maybe this was what Tim felt earlier. Then, once a few magic circles surrounded it, the monster was debilitated and held in a prison of light.

“Go help the others with the big one,” Eve strains and Jason stares a her.

“You sure you’ve got it?.”

“I’ll manage,” she says while a bead of sweat rolls down the side of her face. She keeps her focus as best as she can, “but that one isn’t going down as quickly as this one did.” She takes deep breaths in attempt to hold it steady between portals, while behind her Nixon’s attacks seemed to deflect off of the bigger monster. Jason spots you running back, this time with your rifle, and you aimed it carefully before taking the shot. The bullet lodged itself into the monster’s shoulder right before it could swing at Nixon, and it stunned it long enough for him to make her escape.

“They’re getting stronger,” you commented. This one was stronger than five of those beasts you’d fought before put together. If it was taking most of the Brigade to subdue it, then that much was true.

~

2010

“Okay, I’ll help you once, alright?” Jason sighed and you grinned.

“Yes!”

“Here, put this on,” he shoves a bag toward you and you nodded excitedly before running out of the room. When you came back, your excitement shone through your mask.

“You can call me the Girl Wonder!” You threw your cape behind you and Jason snickered.

“Whoa, I’m shaking in my boots,” Jason teased and you pouted. “Wait, wait, it’s too big.”

“Of course, it’s too big, this was Dick’s costume right?” You rocked on your heels, and it became more apparent that the shoes were too big too. Jason tosses you your usual sneakers

“Put those on, let me see what I can do,” he walks around you before disappearing for a second and coming back with safety pins, “don’t move, or else I’m gonna poke you,” he adjusts the costume on the shoulders, he didn’t want to make any permanent alterations with something basically historic. 

“You think there’s gonna be a day you and I are fighting bad guys together?” You asked while he pinched up the fabric at your shoulders.

“Who knows, maybe,” Jason shrugged, his words muffled by the safety pins held between his lips.

“That would be cool, Jason and (Y/N), maybe Dick too, right? And dad?”

“Sure,” he feeds into your fantasy. “Only if I’m with you, though. You might trip over your cape.”

“Not true!” Still, Jason finds a way to shorten the cape.

“Yes, true! Look at your floor There’s trash all over it!”

“I’ll pick it up later! Geez!” You argued, but you calmed down just as quickly. “That would be so cool though… I want to be just like you.”

“Nah, you’d be better,” Jason chuckles. “There you go, kiddo,” he tests the stability of it and, once he’s happy with it, he pulls the cape over your shoulders to hide the pins.

“Now what?”

“We go to Titan tower,” Jason gestures for you to follow him.

“Oh, dad says I’m not allowed on that,” you eyed the Robin Motorcycle and Jason rolls his eyes.

“Pssh, it’s fine, you’re with me,” he lifts you and secures you to the seat before climbing on behind you and shoving the helmet onto your head.

“Is this legal?” Your voice was muffled by the helmet.

“Don’t worry about the details!” He starts up the motorcycle.

“Are you wearing a helmet?!” Actually you were wearing his.

“Yeah,” he lied and off you went.

You’d been in the batmobile plenty of times, seen the city in it just as much, but seeing it this way was different. Everything seemed closer, like you could reach out and join whatever scene was there. With the wind blowing around you and your hands firmly grasped onto the bike, this felt amazing! You felt like you were flying, moving faster than even some of the other cars, and every now and then an excited laugh would escape you.

Maybe being a Robin wouldn’t be so bad?

“Alright, kiddo, we’re here,” Jason parks the bike and helps you off. 

“You lied! You’re not wearing a helmet!” You pulled it off of your head and eyed the ‘R’ decal on the side.

“Yup, I did. Anyway, let’s set some ground rules,” Jason kneels so he can look at you in the eye, “you tell no one who you are, yeah? If anyone asks, you’re Robin, okay?”

“Why can’t I say my name?”

“It’s dangerous,” Jason explains, “and when you’re looking for Dick, you ask for Nightwing.”

“Is it also dangerous if they know his name?”

“Yes, very.”

“Okay,” you nodded and followed Jason to the side of the tower. He pulls the vent cover off and crawls in. So… maybe Jason wasn’t exactly allowed in Titan tower after a few misfortunate events that included him losing his cool and his temper. But, what can he do?

Dick really pissed him off.

But, that was beside the point. You wanted to see him, and this was the only way he could help you do that, so fuck it. Plus, with the majority of everyone's identities still being secret, he couldn't have you just waltzing in here anyway without him.

“Follow me.”

“This feels illegal.”

“Shh!”

“Okay, okay!” You followed him carefully and, after some twists and turns, Jason kicked out one of the vents and crawled out, helping you down too. You landed in some kind of lounge area, a large sofa in the middle.

“Wait here, Nightwing should be coming soon, I’ll wait for you outside,” Jason says before leaving the way he came. You sat on the couch, kicking your legs for a bit. Then you started playing with the end of your cape. The material was pretty comfy, actually, you could see yourself falling asleep in it easily. You wondered if Dick ever did. You always liked this costume, actually, it was so different from your dad’s that in some ways you preferred it.

Your brothers were heroes. How cool was that? And your dad was probably the most heroic one of them all, and that was much cooler. If only you could show it off, you were sure everyone would be jealous of you. How often can anyone say that their family are superheroes? Dick always looked so cool in this uniform, and sure he still looks amazing with his new one, but this one? It was different.

Finally after waiting enough you decided to just find him yourself. How hard could it be anyway?

Very hard, apparently.

So you did what any preteen would do and wandered around the tower, he had to be somewhere, right?

Until you landed in the middle of what you assumed to be a training room. It was a spacious room with a kiosk off to the side, and you sat down in the middle, crossing your legs and holding them to your chest. This sucked. And you didn’t even know the way back out to meet Jason to go home. Then, off to the corner of your eye, you saw movement, and you turned your head toward it but… nothing. But you felt the stares, you felt the eyes, and it scared you. You couldn’t call for help, you didn’t know where Dick was and Jason was too far to hear, so you shut your eyes tight and covered your ears. But that never stopped you before.

“Help!” Your voice was loud and immediately you heard a vent clatter to the ground while Jason tumbled out of it, he stood in front of you with one hand up and the other on his belt, ready to pull out a batarang if needed.

“Stop! We’re not intruders!” He shouts.

“Relax, everyone,” Dick’s voice was firm while he held a fist up to stop all movements, and, slowly the Titans back off. Dick eyed Jason and gestured for him to move over before he approached you slowly, crouching down as soon as he was close enough. And he felt his heart tighten. He knew it was you as soon as he’d seen you, but to see you in that? His old uniform? That old thing that had been ripped apart after many battles and had been stained with blood many a time… To see you wearing it was almost wrong. The little girl who cried whenever her brothers had scratches, the one who called for help for the smallest of things, to think that you could be a Robin almost ripped him apart, he didn’t want you to go through any of what he did, any of what Jason did. Hell, you just called for help right now and this is probably one of the safest places you could be.

Jason, only he could’ve put you up to this, and he made his intent clear from the quick glare he shot him, but Jason replied by whistling and rolling his eyes. Dick only sighed and reached out to rub your head. You removed your hands just enough to peer over them, and once you’d seen him, your frown deepened and you wrapped your arms around him, holding him tight, and he held you back. You missed him, a lot. 

“False alarm, everyone, she’s my sister,” he rubs your back gently before rising up and, once you’d looked around, you saw the other members of the Titans that Dick was always talking about. “And you,” he looks at Jason, “we’ll talk later, wait outside for her and I’ll bring her out,” he says. Jason doesn’t fight it, he just nods and leaves the room, looking back to see you watching him go.

“He’s not in trouble is he?” You tugged at Dick’s arm to get his attention. “It was my idea to come here…” you muttered. Before Dick could respond, you were surrounded by excited voices. And you recognized all of them, you’d seen them plenty of times on your dad’s big computer alongside the other heroes.

“Whoa, Nightwing! You have a younger sister?” Garfield was the first to approach you, looking at you closely as if trying to find any similarities between the two of you.

“Yeah, adoptive,” he explains, ushering you forward. 

“What a cute little girl!” Starfire pinches your cheeks and you let her, feeling the warmth from her hands radiate into your face as she did so and you didn’t hate it, “have you come to visit your brother?”

“Yeah,” your voice was slightly stifled.

“Good, take him home with you, he needs a break,” Starfire grins.

“Come on, Star, there’s too much work to do here,” he shakes his head. 

“Now, what’s your name? You got a cool one too?” Garfield asks and Dick clears his throat before you could answer.

“Obviously, we can’t tell you her name, but you can just call her Robin while she’s here.”

“That’s a little confusing with the other Robin,” Raven mutters.

“But the other Robin isn’t here right now,” Wally answers. 

“Alright, how about Little Wing, then?” Dick tosses out the nickname he had for you and your eyes lit up.

“Cool!” Wally zips over to you. “You really a Robin?” You shook your head. “Whoa, I was about to say…”

“Alright, alright, let’s not crowd her, okay?” Dick pushes you slightly behind him now, “you guys filter out, I’ll talk with her for a bit, I think I know why she’s here,” Dick wears a knowing smile, and the others groan but leave anyway, leaving you and Dick in the training room.

“So, Little Wing, what brings you all the way here from Gotham?” He sits down and crosses his legs, and you sit next to him.

“I just wanted to visit, is all…” you muttered.

“Oh, yeah?”

“You’re never home anymore…” you mumbled. Dick sighs.

“Yeah… yeah,” he nods, “the team needs me here.”

“But I need you there,” you replied. A small frown settles on Dick’s face.

“I know, I can’t come home right now, (Y/N),” he says while listening for unwanted ears, “but, hey, you still have Robin.”

“He’s still rude!” You shout. “He’s not like you, whenever I ask to do stuff with him all he does is complain, he can be so mean sometimes!” You grumbled.

“Mean? He took you all the way here, didn’t he?” Dick leans back on his palms and you huffed.

“I guess… but that’s probably because I keep complaining about how you’re not around anymore,” you pout.

“And he still does all those things with you even though he complains, right?”

“Yeah,” you looked to the side.

“Heck, even when you called for help that kid came tumbling down, I’m sure you hurt his feelings every time you call him mean.”

“Do I really?” Your voice was small. You hadn’t really considered it before. You and Jason had a tendency to argue, and maybe say a few mean things to each other every now and then, but you never once thought that you hurt his feelings during. “I guess he’s not so bad…”

“Looks like I got a worthy replacement then,” he claps your shoulder and you frowned again while shifting slightly away from him.

“Why aren’t you ever home anymore?” Dick doesn’t answer. “Is it dad? Did you two get in a fight?”

“Something like that,” Dick sighs. “But, you’re right, just because he and I are fighting doesn’t mean I should ignore you,” he rubs your hair playfully and you smiled. “I’ll carve out some time for you too, I can’t have Robin stealing all my thunder, right?” He smiles and you nodded your head.

“Promise?”

“Sibling's promise," he smiles.

~

2022

“Move!” You pushed Nixon out of the way just in time for the Daemon’s arm to hammer down on top of you. You barely dodged in time, the beast’s arm just grazing you before it slammed against the ground and cracked the concrete beneath it. You pierced your blade into the beast’s stomach and it roared above you. “Shit, not enough,” you pulled back, but the beast grabbed onto you. “Shit!” You repeated and the beast opened its maw wide before it came biting down over your shoulder, its teeth digging into your neck, back, and chest. Your scream was near primal, feeling every single piece of you rip and sew itself back together.

“Captain!” Eve’s shriek could be heard from anywhere. 

“(Y/N)!” And only Jason’s could have rivaled it. You heard successive rounds fired out and you knew they hit their target, but it couldn’t have been enough to fell this beast. Shurikens embedded themselves into the daemon’s body before you saw the staff flung toward it. But the beast only caught it in its hands and tossed it to the ground. You thrashed against the monster, you were too close to use your rifle and too busy to make your rapier be of any use aside from a handle. You grabbed onto the monster’s face, trying to pry it off of you, but it just bit down harder, pulling out yet another pained scream from you. Tim found a way to get on top of the beast and, holding Carter’s sword, he plunged the sword into the beast’s neck, but all it did was anger it further, and it shook you side to side like a dog would a toy, and your screams became garbled from the harsh movements. Tim was thrown to the ground in time for Jason to step forward and aim for the more vital parts of the beast.

But it wasn’t enough.

And you began to resort to more grotesque techniques to survive. So, with mangled limbs, you grabbed onto the beast’s ears and pushed back with all your might until you started to feel the flesh rip. Then another roar is heard. You turned your head to its source, right in front of the Barracks, and you felt an intense wave of dread.

It escaped.

The previously captured Daemon breathed heavily, chain collar around it’s neck and broken shackles on each limb. It was looking at you.

Sure, you could reattach. But, hypothetically, if you were ripped apart just enough, to the point that there was no base body to even reattach to, then this might be the end for you.

But that wasn’t fair. You couldn’t die yet, not in front of them. You were just barely able to catch a glimpse of Jason, the only one turned toward you, and it killed you, the way he looked. You couldn’t even imagine Tim. Thank god you sent Damian away.

“Oh, fuck,” Nixon charged toward it, but the daemon bent down on it’s hind legs before leaping across the air and toward you. It landed with a loud thud, shaking the ground temporarily before charging toward you and the daemon that was still trying to gnaw you in half.

You winced when the daemon locked its jaw on you, and you prepared yourself for impact, but instead, the chained Daemon bit onto the larger one’s neck and ripped it off of you. You fell to the ground, panting heavily and with no strength to get it up, but you were able to turn your head just enough to see the fight. It was gruesome.

“(Y/N), holy shit,” Jason helps you sit up, his hands red with the blood from your back. You brought your one good hand to your head and tried to stop the ringing in your ears through sheer will. Jason waved a hand in front of you. “How many fingers?”

“Three,” your eyes were slowly focusing again. You looked down at your chest.

It wasn’t reattaching. Not fast, at least.

“Are they fighting?” Carter runs up next to you, eyeing the bite wound before looking at the two beasts.

“Yeah, where’s Alex?” You were still catching your breath.

“Calling for help, again,” Carter looks around. “Eve’s getting medical supplies and Nixon’s watching the other one.”

“Okay,” you coughed up blood and you kept your head turned low. You couldn’t look at Jason. You didn’t want to know what kind of expression he had on his face right now. And you couldn’t let Tim see you this way either.

“(Y/N)! Let me see it,” Tim falls in front of you, looking at the damage, but his hands were shaking. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he says. “It was me, I saw it and got curious, I must have weakened the defense somehow,” Tim mumbles.

“Don’t,” you shook your head and looked past him, toward the fight. “They’re fighting each other… but why?” Your breathing was labored.

“Save your energy, kid.” You just realized that Jason has been supporting you this whole time. You watched the chained daemon grab onto the electric one, holding both of its arms before ripping one off entirely.

“Holy fuck,” it was like you were watching a massacre. And when the chained daemon bit down on the other for the last time, it closed its jaw completely over the other’s neck. Slowly, it rose again, opening its jaw to let the blood of its felled opponent spill out, and then it turned to you. Instinctively, you tried to push back, but Jason held you in place. His gaze was as locked upon it as it was to you.

The daemon approached the group slowly, its eyes menacing and its jaw hung open, but its steps were slow and maybe casual. Its ears folded down and as it closed the distance its eyes seemed to soften. Before it finally stood above you, everyone held still by your weakened fist in the air, ready to signal an attack at any moment. But nothing happened, it just stood there.

And then it looked at Tim.

You were already confused about why it seemed responsive to you, but to Tim too?

“Tim,” your voice was weak.

“Yeah?” He didn’t break eye contact with the beast.

“Around its neck are a pair of dog tags, read it for me.”

“Okay…” Tim reached his hand out slowly. And the beast, as if understanding, turned its head up to allow the tags to be seen better. “CK-78.”

“Does it mean anything to you?” You asked. Blood was still pooling out of the bite marks across your torso.

Tim’s eyes narrowed on the dogtags, and then he looked up at the daemon’s eye. Strange, it was as if it was begging Tim to get it. To figure out the mystery behind it.

While Tim did so, Eve returned, holding the first aid kit and kneeling next to you.

“I got it,” Jason took the bandages. He knew a thing or two about field patching, he’d say. He wrapped it around your body a couple of times after packing the larger wounds, it’ll do for now, but you’d have to get the seen by a professional later.

Look at this.

His worst nightmare.

During his time as a Robin, there was a reoccurring nightmare he’d always have.

It would start out as normal, it was one of those dreams that felt so real that he wouldn’t think twice. He’d pick you up from academy, you’d do whatever you felt like doing, and on your way home you’d be interrupted by one of the bastards who had Batman and Robin on their hit list. They would fight. And Jason would be so busy beating the shit out of them that he wouldn’t realize the mortal wounds you had. And when he would clean you up, when he would stop the bleeding any way he knew how, you would look away from him, and you wouldn’t say anything.

He would always wake up in a cold sweat after that, comforted by the fact that it was a nightmare.

Except now wasn’t that, it was real. It was so real that you were bleeding through your bandages, and you were holding your head from the blood loss, no doubt seeing the world spin, and you weren't looking at him.

“What happened?!” Damian came back too late, seeing you on the ground. It was his turn to sit in front of you. “Sister? Sister!” Damian held your face in his hands. But your eyes had glazed over. Your breaths were shallow, and your head heavy.

You were so tired.

Your eyelids slipped shut and the last thing you felt was Damian shaking you.

~

2014

You watched silently while Dick went through his normal workout routine. You were more disinterested, if anything, sure it was cool at first but now it was just a wasted three hours of your day. But, you needed to ask him something, in fact that was why you’d been staying with him for the past week, one part of it was that it was this odd request of yours and the other part of it was that you just didn’t want to be home. It was so suffocating in the mansion, so quiet, and so…

Lonely.

“What’s up, little wing?” Dick pulled you out of your thoughts. He wiped the sweat off his neck with a towel and started shoving the weights back into their original places. “You’ve been staring at me for a while now.”

“Have I? Sorry, it wasn’t creepy was it?”

“It was a little creepy,” he chuckled. “But… I know I look good,” he nudges you playfully.

“Shut up, you’re gross,” you made a fake gagging sound and leaned back against the wall, being sure to avert your gaze this time.

“Is… everything alright?” He asks as if testing the waters. You didn’t blame him, to be fair. Since you’d arrived, you hadn’t mentioned his name once.

“Everything’s fine,” you shrugged. Dick sits next to you now, picking up his water bottle along the way and taking a deep breath.

“I know it’s hard but… he’s my brother too.” That got you. You leaned forward with your elbows on your knees and you buried your face in your hands. “It’s okay to grieve,” he says. It’s already been a year.

“But what if I don’t want to?” Your voice was muffled. “Me grieving is like me accepting that he’s dead, but he can’t be, right? Dad wouldn’t have let him die, right?” Your questions would go unanswered, instead, you felt Dick place a reassuring hand on your shoulder.

“Everyone… everyone has to go eventually,” Dick says carefully.

“Why did it have to be him, though?” Your tears spilled out of your hands now. You never really thought of how deadly your family’s jobs were. They were just always so prepared, so ready for any possible thing that could go wrong, until they weren’t. “I… I’ve been watching Tim train to be Robin, and it got me thinking about what he asked me before…” your voice trailed after being interrupted by hiccups, and Dick just rubbed your upper back the whole time, waiting patiently for you to finish. You took a deep breath. “Tim asked me… to become the next Robin, originally. But I said no, and now he’s training instead. But… you know he’s so bright, he can do anything he wants and instead, because I chickened out, he’s training to be a vigilante.” Dick didn’t say anything. “But you know me and how I feel about what you all do.”

“I do.”

“I just… it’s not…” you paused. “Could I even do it?” You turned to him now. Dick, though, turned away from you with his focus on his hands. They were grasping onto each other tight with the knuckles turning white. “Dick?”

“What do you think, (Y/N)?” He asks. “If you came here to ask me to make that decision for you, I won’t. You know as well as I do what being a Robin means.”

“But he’s just so… young, Dick. I never realized how young you both were when you started, but now when I watch Tim I can’t help but worry.”

“Hell, you should’ve seen us then,” Dick laughs quietly. There’s no way you could know his thoughts right now. He who might have been the reason why you were so averted to vigilante business to begin with, he did everything he possibly could to keep you separate from it and now here you were, asking him if you should become a Robin. It was one of his worst nightmares, actually. There have been many a time he thought if becoming a vigilante was the right way to cope, he thought he was becoming a hero, but really he at first became a soldier. He couldn’t see you become like that. You who was probably the only thing keeping both him and Bruce grounded, imagine if they lost that, imagine if you lost that.

“But doesn’t it make sense though, Dick? If I became a Robin?”

“Well… yeah,” he nods his head absently, “but is that what you want to do?” You thought for a moment. The toll vigilante work took on your dad, the childhood it took from Dick, the life it took from Jason, and the time it was taking from Tim, could you shoulder that?

“I came here for two reasons,” you said instead, “one was to get out of that house. No one’s ever home anymore,” you muttered.

“And the second?”

“I was going to ask you to train me,” you admitted bashfully. “But I don’t think I was ever cut out for vigilante work, I don’t have the same resolve you and… he did,” you took a deep breath. “What exactly did you two fight about for Jason to have been banned from the Titan tower, Dick?”

“…” he didn’t answer for a while. But you knew that look on his face, he was thinking, and very hard at that too. “He wanted to train you,” he says, “he wanted to have the both of us train you. Have you learn the basics of being a Robin just in case… just in case neither of us could’ve gotten to you in time.” Your face grew more serious. “And I said ‘no.’”

“Why?”

“At that time, when you were twelve, did you want to be a Robin?” He asks. You thought about it for a while.

“Yes, I thought I could be a Robin,” you nodded.

“And now?” He waits for your answer.

“I… I don’t know. But, was the fight really all that bad for him to get banned?”

“You don’t understand, (Y/N),” Dick shook his head. “No one knows the price of being a Robin more than we did. You know, no matter how old you get, you’re still our little sister, I don't know what I'd do if even half the shit that happened to me happened to you,” he nudges you. “We didn’t see eye-to-eye on that and, well, I already disagreed with how he treated the mantle too, so I won’t lie and I tell you we started off on a good page,” he says. “And when it came to you, what to do with you and how to take care of you, we either agreed with each other entirely or were at odds, there was no in-between,” Dick rolled his eyes, thinking back to the arguments between the two.

“Really?”

“Yeah, we just never did it in front of you, obviously,” Dick says. “You know us well, (Y/N). Take you being in danger. If it was up to me you’d never be in a dangerous situation to begin with, so I hope you never held it against me when I told you to stay behind.”

“I did.”

“I know,” Dick nods. “You do this thing where you’d take a deep breath and close your eyes and that’s how we’d know you’re upset,” he laughs and you broke a smile. “But Jason? Phew. To him, as long as you were within an arm’s distance, you were never in danger, and that was pretty much true from how I’d see him with you,” Dick shakes his head.

“Well… yeah, it’s the same with you, right?” You asked.

“Of course! But, also, not necessarily,” he shakes his head again. “It’s happened enough times before, I would just pull you out of a situation before things got too heated. Jason, though, would throw himself in front of you if it meant keeping you safe, he was always reckless like that,” he says. And look where it got him. “Like that time you first visited me at the Tower, oh my god, I almost popped a vein when I heard how you got there,” Dick exaggerates his words with his hands. “The Robin Cycle?! Seriously?! God, so much could have gone wrong, and, oh my god, you were in the vents!” Dick started rambling and you started laughing. “He’s actually crazy to think that would’ve been okay,” Dick runs a hand through his hair and you settled down.

“I had so much fun that day,” your smile fell into a softer one, “I remember thinking that I was just like you guys…” Dick nods solemnly.

"That's... If there was one thing Jason and I always agreed on, it was that we wanted you to be better than we could ever be. For me, that was making your own choices free from a legacy, and for Jason that was being more prepared than he ever was," Dick says before taking a deep breath. “Sometimes I forget we were that same age when we started,” Dick says.

“Exactly,” you sighed.

“The only difference was that Jason and I were insanely traumatized, and you weren’t,” he chuckles and you shifted uncomfortably.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” your arms rested over your knees. “You and Jason were these self-made heroes, and I was the spoiled rich kid brat who thought it would’ve been easy.”

“Spoiled? Yeah. Brat? Nah,” Dick laughs.

“Hey!”

“Hey you! Whatever you wanted we got you!”

“Okay, well that was your choice,” you defended yourself.

“True,” Dick concedes. But then his smile falls. “We used to talk about it. (Y/N),” the tone shifts again, “it’s not that we think you couldn’t handle being a vigilante, anyone can take on the mantle, it’s whether or not you’d be best utilized for that mantle. You have so many other strengths that Jason and I don’t have, you know you kept us grounded so many times when all we wanted to do was fly,” Dick says. “There are days where we almost went too far, I think, and every time there you were to help us back down,” he continues, but then he stops. “If you want to be a Robin, then I’ll help you, but you need to find someone who can be your grounder too. That hopeful humanity you have is what makes you such a vital part to our team, and I’m just afraid that becoming Robin will change that,” he finishes. You held on to every word.

Robin, what did it really stand for? It wasn’t just Batman’s sidekick, it was a symbol as much as Batman was. A symbol of hope for some, the hope that came after vengeance.

And here you were, wanting to become a Robin just to hunt down the Joker.

You couldn’t tell that to Dick.

But it made you so upset. The Joker killed your brother and your father hasn’t done anything about him, hell, you were just reading an article about how Joker and Batman had a showdown and still your father let him go. Wasn’t your father angry at all? Didn’t he feel some kind of guilt or sympathy for Jason?

“(Y/N), I know what you’re thinking, I can see it in your eyes,” Dick says. “But Bruce… Bruce has his own way of grieving too. We don’t have to understand it, it’s not like he’d tell us anyway, but just like how you came to me, Bruce went to someone else,” Dick explains.

“He’s my own dad, and I feel like you know him better than I ever will.”

“I am older than you,” he nudges you softly.

“I just wish he came to us,” you mumbled. “He thinks he’s so alone sometimes, and I feel it,” you held onto your chest and rubbed it softly with the ball of your hand. “I feel like I don’t know him anymore, Dick, I don’t know how to talk to my own dad.”

“Just start small, he’s grieving too.”

“I don’t recognize him anymore, Dick,” your hands went to your arms now. “Don’t tell him this, okay?” You looked at him, your eyes wide with a hint of… something, something Dick didn’t want to admit.

“I won’t.”

“Promise?”

“Sibling secret,” he makes a zipper motion with his mouth. You moved so that you were facing him a little more.

“When he came home the other night, Tim was already in bed and I was about to go too, but you know I’ve been having trouble sleeping lately, and my therapist recommended tea. I figured dad would want some too, he usually does after late-night patrols, so I made some for him and brought it down to the cave. I was originally just going to leave it there, but he was already sitting down in front of the batcomputer… I didn’t even hear him come in,” you started. “And when I placed the mug down, he turned to look at me so fast that I almost fell back, and…” you hesitated, but Dick was listening very carefully, “he threw one of those batarangs of his. He threw it towards me and he missed, but,” your hand ghosted over your cheek, where the shallow cut was long before, “I know he didn’t mean to, he’d been on edge ever since what happened but… he scared me, Dick. The way he looked at me, it scared me so much I couldn’t move,” your hands were trembling, they were trembling so much you clasped your hands together to stop them, but they didn’t, “I’ve never been afraid of dad before but that night was different. I couldn’t say anything to him, I just dropped the mug off and ran back upstairs.”

“Did he do that?” Dick was in disbelief. You nodded your head, the image still clear in your mind.

“The next morning he apologized but… I didn’t think I’d ever be in that situation to begin with. I know, I know ever since what happened with Jason he’s been so guarded, so I’m not holding it against him but…” you trailed off. You were so scared that night. “I know it won’t happen again.”

“It won’t, you’re right,” he says. “Maybe…” he hesitates. “Maybe I’ll drop by a bit more, I know Tim’s been training, but maybe it’ll help more if a former Robin helped him out,” Dick says. Your expression seemed to perk up at this.

“You’re coming home?”

“Just visiting,” he says. “Might do Tim some good to have someone other than Alfred and Bruce, right?” He rolls his shoulders out. “Plus, I can tell you miss me,” he nudges your shoulder and you rolled your eyes again.

“I always miss you guys,” you waved it off.

“Aww, oh my god! My sister misses me?” Dick exaggerates and you groan.

“Don’t you dare make me regret coming here!”

“Oh, I am so touched, I could cry,” Dick hides his eyes with his hand before separating his fingers just enough to see your deadpan expression. You shook your head and stood up.

“Thanks, Dick, for hearing me out,” you wiped your palms on your thighs.

“Of course, anything for you, (Y/N),” he smiles.

“I don’t want to bother you anymore-”

“Whoa! You’re leaving already? Let me treat you out first, you came all the way here to Blüdhaven, I can’t let you go home on an empty stomach,” Dick jumps up and walks ahead of you.

“No, it’s okay!”

“(Y/N), Alfred would kill me,” Dick looks back with an inflated look of despair and you laughed.

“You’re right, you’re right, fine! But I get to choose!”

“Keeping up the spoiled persona, I get you.”

"Dick! You're such a..." you stopped yourself and Dick waited with expectant eyes for the punchline. "I'm not gonna say it."

"It was worth a shot," Dick waits for you to catch up and you both left together.

~

2022

You’re in the manor, but you knew, not really. The details were fuzzy, faceless paintings repeated themselves, and hallways seemed longer than usual. Every time you turned a wrong corner the hallway would loop until you realized that you had to turn around.

This was a dream.

Ever since you’d come to this new Earth, you had this uncanny ability of lucid dreaming. Or, at the very least, you were very conscious in your dreams. You always remembered them after too. But naught without cost. You either had a dreamless night, or you had relentless nightmares. You were already mentally preparing yourself for what you were about to see. If you were in the manor then, you already know, this one would be tough. And it seemed that your dream was guiding you into the foyer, and it landed you in front of the infamous bookcase. You pulled the bust’s head back and pressed the button, watching the bookcase slide forward and to the side. The staircase down was dark, near infinite. You took a deep breath and took a step closer to it.

“(Y/N)? You’re not allowed down there,” you heard a voice behind you say. You turned around and saw a much younger Dick Grayson.

“Why not?”

“It’s dangerous.” He says.

“Why don’t you come with me then?” You caught your reflection on the glass case next to you. You were so little. Your cheeks round with baby fat and your hair tied into twin tails. This was going to be rough.

“I… I wouldn’t be enough, just stay up here, okay? Let’s play a game,” he pulls out a Monopoly set and you shook your head.

“Sorry, Dick, I just want to be done with this.” You shook your head and walked into the darkness, feeling the chill of fear run through you with every step. And finally you reached the bottom, and the cave illuminated. You could hear someone typing on the keyboard. “Dad?” You called out to him and the clacking stopped. You walked further into the cave, until you could see the batcomputer and the looming figure of the Batman sitting in front of it. “I didn’t hear you come home,” you waited for his response. And there was none. “Dad?” You chanced it again. And the Batman turned quickly on the chair.

You were afraid.

You felt your heart pumping and the blood rushing through your veins. That wasn’t your father, no, it was a daemon in the Batsuit, how fucking fitting. And you screamed, you called for help, and you wanted to fall to the ground and cover your ears with how the daemon roared. And when it fell to the ground and started clawing its way toward you it just felt so real, it felt so real that you could feel the tears streaming down your face and your burning throat.

“(Y/N)! Get away!” Your dad. You felt someone pull you back with such force that you nearly flew at that size. And you watched the two Batmen fighting. One, your father, and the other a daemon. 

“You!” Another voice now. You were knocked to the ground and you saw… you. She pinned you down with a crazed look in her eyes. “You took everything from me,” her voice dripped with venom and you looked away. She wrapped her hands around your throat and pressed her thumbs against your windpipe. “I’ll kill you.” You gasped for air now and she throttled you. “Give it back. Give it back to me!” You shook your head, and you shut your eyes, trying every trick in the book to wake up. You bit your tongue, you gnawed on your hands, and you even tried doing simple math until finally you shot up from bed.

Taking deep breaths, you clutched onto your heart. Your wounds had been cleaned and bandaged. You looked around the med bay and you wiped the cold sweat from your head. You looked to the side, spotting the scattered tools, and you grabbed the scalpel. You took more deep breaths, the world at your peripherals still fuzzy, and you plunged it into your hand just to be sure you’d woken up and soon you heard a shout next to you.

“Are you crazy?! Give me that!” Jason tugged the scalpel out of your hand and chucked it toward the other side of the room. It looks like he had just woken up too. He slumped back on the chair next to your bed and took deep breaths.

“Jason, what happened?” You watched your hand reattach. Back to normal.

“What happened? You almost got ripped apart, that’s what happened,” he points at your bandages.

“I mean after, Jay.”

“Oh, well,” he shakes the shock off, “after you passed out, Alex came back and helped that other girl wheel you over here to get you patched up. Tim went with Mary, I think her name was, and they started doing stuff with the monster to see why it reacted that way.”

“And Damian?” Jason points at the other side of your bed and you turned your head toward it. Damian had fallen asleep next to you, head resting on his arms that were crossed over the edge of the bed. Wordlessly, you rubbed his hair gently and you turned to Jason. “Talk about a warm welcome,” you repeated. Jason didn’t answer, he was looking down at your hand. “You’re right. It is sick and twisted.” Your hand looked like nothing had happened to it. “Looks like I never stabbed it all, huh?” Your voice was quiet, so as not to wake Damian.

“But those are still there,” he looked at the healed over that encircled your whole wrist.

Your hands were the first to go that night.

You rubbed it softly.

“I don’t like thinking about it.”

“I don’t blame you.”

“I still have nightmares about it,” you tugged the hospital gown up, as if it would hide the scar that encircled your neck. It didn’t.

“Was that the one you had just now?”

“No, that one was… fairly new,” you thought back to it. It wasn’t the first time you’d been attacked by yourself. You figured it was some crazy dream symbolism thing that said you were at odds with yourself, but you weren’t so sure. Jason didn’t need to know about it. “It’s fine,” you shook your head.

“Oh, Captain, you’re up,” the nurse walks in with a clipboard in hand. “That was a nasty bite you had there, but I suspect it’s all been reattached by now, right?” You touched your chest. All good. You nodded your head and the nurse beamed. “Excellent, then, you’d been resting for a while so you should be able to get back to work soon?”

“How long have I been out?”

“It’s been a couple of days, Captain. Sir Grant will drop by and hand you the paperwork you’ve missed.”

“It can’t be that much, can it?” You asked. The nurse just smiles.

“Dr. Bronte ordered you to remain on bed rest for the week, he was very adamant about it,” she says. “So, unfortunately, nothing but paperwork.”

“What?! He knows I reattach, right?!” You shot up from bed and she ushers you back down.

“Yes, of course, but it’s still his orders,” she says. You groaned.

“I see, thank you,” you dismissed her and she saluted before leaving the room.

“So… Captain, huh?” Jason makes conversation. “You have to tell me about that,” he crosses his ankle over his knee and you shook your head with a slight smile.

“It’s boring.”

“Well, not like you’re going anywhere.”

“Rude!”

“I’m serious! I wanna know what you’ve been up to! I thought you hated being a leader.”

“I do.”

“So… why Captain?”

“God, everyone else is incomptent,” you rolled your eyes and Jason laughed.

“That’s more like you, tell me from the beginning.”

“Ugh… well…” You looked up at the ceiling, thinking of where to start. “When I woke up here I was so lost. I was lucky enough to have been brought in by good people, and they showed me how this world worked, but I knew I had to repay them somehow. Luckily for me, one of them was the previous Captain, so he let me train under him and now I’m here. That’s the shortened version,” you explained.

“What? Boring, give me the good one.”

“You’re so annoying!”

“Sure, yeah, now tell me about people you beefed with.”

“Fine.”

~

2015

You were worried sick, and you stayed up late to wait for your father and Tim to come home, they told you they’d be back in the morning, and now it was nearing midnight, their comms were turned off and their locations unknown, Babs was going near crazy trying to locate them and here you were, waiting in the Batcave like it would do something.

“Dick, what do you think?” You chewed on the tip of your thumb. Your older brother stood by the computer, trying to do anything to locate anything.

“I might send the Titans in after them if they’re not back,” he says. You stood up and looked at the screen. Tim had only recently been inducted in as a Robin, after months and months of training, he finally made it, and this was his first big break mission with your father after he’d saved the others from Two-Face, the first time he was entrusted with an actual mission aside from the Gotham patrols. But… you were worried.

Then, finally, you heard the telltale sign of the plane landing, and you and Dick were quick to run over. Your father emerged first and soon after…

“Tim?” You stepped forward to see him better and… You could hear your heartbeat in your ears, it was the only thing louder than the ringing. There was blood, a lot of it, it caked around his face and on his uniform, and it left footprints where he walked. He spotted you, forcing a smile and a wave.

But the world around you dulled. All conversation was muted to you. Your vision tunneled on Tim, and for some reason all you could see was Jason, head split open by a crowbar and blood pooled around him like you’d seen in all your nightmares, and when you’d blink he’d go back to Tim, bloodied. Then you’d blink again, Jason, you’d blink, Tim. What was this ringing? This fear you felt in your heart? Couldn’t your father have helped clean him up a little on his way here? Couldn’t he have dressed those wounds better? Was the blood even his?

“(Y/N)?” Tim was closer now, you noticed him nursing his side, the wound messily dressed and barely doing the job. You looked at your father.

“Oh, Tim,” your hands rest on his shoulders gently, while you tried to assess the damage. “What happened?” You asked carefully.

“It was rough,” your father shook his head. “Too many variables we didn’t account for, we won’t make that mistake again.”

“Too many variables? Enough to leave Tim like this?” You looked at him. “Let me see it,” you looked at his side.

“It’s okay,” Tim shakes his head.

“Show me,” you insisted. Tim only nodded, removing his hand just enough so you could see the scar through the cut-open uniform. Go figure, the Robin uniform wasn’t fit for a jungle. You looked at your father again, who was looking at Tim. “What happened?”

“Mutated animals, we’re still investigating it, we’ll return in the morning,” he responds.

“In the morning? Look at him! He’s barely holding himself together!” You argued. “Take Dick with you! Tim needs to rest.”

“(Y/N),” Dick spoke up, or had he been speaking?

“He’s fine, (Y/N), we all cleared him for Robin work, this is just collateral,” your father answers.

“Just collateral? He’s not a business, he’s Tim fucking Drake!” You stepped in front of Tim now. “Do you want to go back there?” You looked at him, and he shrank in his shoes. Tim only shook his head, clearly still shaken from the events.

“He’s a Robin, he wanted to be a Robin, trained for it, and now he is it,” Batman argues.

“Christ, dad, he’s thirteen!” You shout.

“Dick was eleven!”

“And look where that got him! He resents you!” You looked to Dick, who sighed and shook his head. He couldn’t answer, because what you said had some truth to it. Everyone knew it.

“Jason was—”

“Jason is dead!” You cut him off, your hands balled at your sides and your throat strained, there was a tense silence in the cave now. “You killed my brother! You killed him and you didn’t even grieve like a normal person, I had to hear from Tim that you were ripping people apart in the ports! That’s horrifying, dad! Why… why are you repeating what happened with Jason?!”

“Take that back!” Batman’s voice rose in a way no one ever heard before.

“And what will you do if Tim is gone? Are you going to go on a killing spree?” You felt like pulling your hair out. “Jason’s gone and you haven’t done shit about it!”

“I’ve done everything to avenge him!”

“Everything to avenge but none to honor!” You stood up taller now, and you looked the Batman in his eye. “The Joker still runs wild, and all you’ve done is train his replacement.”

“You know nothing about what I do for this city!”

“And I don’t want to be part of it,” you could feel your throat burning. “Look at Tim! He could be dead right now and you wouldn’t do anything about it, you said it yourself, it’s just collateral,” you turned his words on him and Batman stepped forward. You stepped back. 

“Death… death is part of the job,” Batman responds and your shoulders slumped.

“God… are you even my father when you put that mask on?” You tried to step back, hoping you’d see at least some of your dad in him, but nothing. “If death is so okay with you then I don’t want to be next in line. I will never be a vigilante.”

“What did you say?” Batman spoke up.

“You…” You’re a monster. You couldn’t find it in yourself to say it. “I will never be a vigilante, I want nothing to do with this Batman circus act, especially if you’re so okay with your kids being near killed,” you were running your mouth now, saying everything that came to mind. You just couldn’t think straight, how the hell did your older brothers do it? You would scrape a knee and they’d raise hell, now Tim comes home bleeding head to toe and you want to throttle whoever did this to him. “I don’t know who you even are, anymore, but the Batman I idolized would have never put his sons in these kinds of situations!”

“You don’t know me!”

“I don’t anymore!”

“Don’t pretend you understand this line of business!”

“I’m not! I don’t understand being a vigilante at all!”

“You’ve lived with us your whole life and you still don’t understand?! Gotham needs us!”

“You’re right, Gotham needs you! Not some remote island with mutated animals! Jesus, you could’ve at least given Tim some actual gear!”

“We didn’t account for monsters thrice our size!”

“And you didn’t think to regroup and plan that shit out?!”

“Watch your language!”

“Fuck my language, Tim’s barely together!”

“You’re acting like you know him so well.”

“And you do?! You really think any normal thirteen-year-old would be okay with getting their shit beat out of them!”

“He chose this.”

“He doesn’t have to get ripped apart because of it!”

“You are making a big deal out of—”

“I just don’t want to lose another brother!” Your voice echoed in the cave. You looked back to Tim, whose hands were over his ears now and his eyes shut closed. His bloodied hands dripped down his face and you shook your head, pulling out a handkerchief and wiping most of it from his face. Tim’s eyes opened slowly and his hands moved away so you could clean up at least that much, at least enough to stop seeing the worst possible outcome. And though you felt a rage like none other, you kept your hands steady, you kept them gentle, just enough to try to calm Tim down without saying anything that would make him more scared. 

“Why do you even bother, (Y/N)?” You heard Batman speak behind you, and before you could turn back to him, Dick took your shoulders and pushed you away.

“Let’s go, you need to cool off,” he says quietly.

“I need to help Tim!”

“Alfred will help him.”

“In that case someone has to pull Batman back to reality!” You tried to shrug Dick off, but his grip was firm. “Let go, Dick! Don’t pretend you don’t agree with me!”

“Let’s take a walk, (Y/N),” he insists, urging you out of the cave.

“Am I so wrong, Dick?!”

“Let’s go,” he keeps ushering you, “I’ll deal with Bruce.”

“You’ll deal with him?” You pushed away from him, you were just steps away from the outside. “Oh! Right! You’ll deal with him… the prodigal son,” you huffed. “Go figure, the kid he listens to is the one he chose and not the one he had,” you snarked and Dick’s expression steeled.

“Don’t say it like that.”

“But it’s exactly that and you know it,” you shot back. “When dad found out I was a weak kid he picked you up instead to train as his protege.”

“That’s not how it happened and you know it!”

“Try all you want to escape him, you never will.” Dick clenches his jaw, holding back something that probably, no, definitely would’ve destroyed your relationship, and he took a deep breath.

“Let’s go,” his voice was softer as he ushers you out again and you both take a step into the cold. “Take a deep breath, (Y/N).” You did so. Both of you were quiet, looking over the cliffside.

“I’m sorry, Dick,” you said quietly, your voice just barely over the sound of waves hitting the rock around you.

“It’s fine, you’re mad, I get it,” Dick nods. “You never get mad, this is just all that pent-up anger.”

“Yeah…” you took a deep breath again. “How the hell did you two do it?” You asked him. Dick shoved his hands in his pockets.

“Do what?”

“All of it.”

“You know, we came home much worse before.”

“But I never saw it.”

“We didn’t let you.”

“I was so young at the time, I get it.”

“You’re still young now.”

“And he’s younger.” Dick didn’t respond.

“Being a vigilante… it’s not easy work, (Y/N),” he says. “We get battered, bruised, and beaten, but we do it for a good cause. If we don’t do it, then who will?” He asks.

“I know, I understand it when you say it, but I can’t understand him,” you looked at him.

“And I respect that, I do,” Dick nods.

“Who even is he, anymore?” You looked away from him. Again, Dick didn’t respond.

“You were pretty harsh in there, (Y/N),” he says.

“Was I?”

“Jason would be proud,” Dick laughs. You didn’t. “You know Bruce is… he’s on his own train, and we’re just a couple cars behind him,” Dick says. “He has his own way of doing things, he cares in his own way, too. You know he wouldn’t let Tim die, he’s not going to put him in a situation he knew he wouldn’t be able to save him in.”

“I… I think I know that,” you shuddered.

“What happened with Jason was because of a myriad of factors that were out of all our control. It’s no one’s fault,” he looks at you, but you were looking to the city. "(Y/N)? What are you thinking right now?"

"I just..." your voice trailed off and your eyes were still distant. You hadn't realized it, you hadn't really thought of it until now. “I miss my dad.”

~

2022

“What do you think, Zee? Can you find them?” Dick’s brows furrowed together while Zatanna ran back the camera footage from the cave earlier. They played the footage in slow motion so she could run through every detail.

“What I can definitely say is that it’s 100% magic,” she says. Constantine leans over, eyes squinted.

“Yup, I agree.”

“Can you back off? You smell like alcohol,” Zatanna grimaces.

“Hey, I’m here to help too!”

“I didn’t ask for your help, you were just in the room when Dick asked me to come over and you followed,” Zatanna groaned.

“Contrary to popular belief, I was (Y/N)’s favorite,” Constantine grinned.

“Okay, that’s definitely not true,” Dick frowns.

“It is! I’d do a lil party trick for her every time I saw her when she was a lass,” Constantine defends. Zatanna and Dick share a look of disbelief before they go back to the tapes.

“Well?” Bruce approaches from behind them. “What are we thinking?”

“Aside from the obvious magic?” Constantine lights his cigarette.

“What do you think?” Bruce asks.

“Roll it back a few seconds, Zee, right before the bright light,” Constantine leans against the console, and when Bruce glares at him he straightens again. “Zoom in on the watch.”

“Here, we have a reconstruction of it here,” Dick taps the screen to the side and brings up the holographic image of the watch. Constantine swipes it around while observing the emblem etched onto it.

“The hint is here,” he says while pointing to it. “Trace back this emblem and you’ll find your boys.”

“How do you know for sure?”

“There are very few kinds of magic that you can use on an object like this,” he says. He opens the watch and the watch face deconstructs into layers in the hologram. “And when you look at the make of the watch, it explains much more.”

“Look at the hands, there’s eight of them, and with each hand is a corresponding circle with a different engraving around the circumference,” Zatanna says, “it’s a device used for transport, to put it bluntly. And if the watch hands aren’t set to a certain one, it can be inferred that a device used for transport would have its default settings set to where it’s originally from, so if we trace back the source we’ll be able to find Tim and Jason,” she says.

“What she—” Constantine is cut off by his phone ringing. “Hold on, gotta get this,” he picks it up and walks to a quiet part of the cave.

“Think you can give it a shot?” Dick asks. Zatanna hums.

“Sure,” she shrugs. “Gnirb kcab Mit dna Nosaj!” Though there were sparks, nothing happened. “I didn’t think that would work. Let me try something else. Gnirb em eht hctaw!” In seconds, a bright light forms between her hands and then the sounds of clinks and clatters of watch pieces falling to the ground are heard.

“Oh, great, they broke it,” Dick wasn’t surprised when he picked it up.

“But if there’s residual energy on it then I can trace it,” Dick places the pieces on the console right as Constantine returns.

“Alright, let’s work a deal,” he looks at Bruce. “I help you find your four missing kids if you help me with mine.”

“Tell me more,” Bruce invites him to continue.

“An old protege of mine has been having some trouble with monsters, if you and your detective brains can help him and I figure out what’s going on, Zee and I will help you look for your kids.”

“Hey! Who said I agreed to this?!”

“I thought you had a soft spot for Liverpool,” Constantine shrugs.

“Oh! If it’s him who needs help then by all means,” Zatanna smiles, remembering the younger boy fondly.

“Well, there you have it, should be quick, might end up just being an extermination job, but he won’t stop bitching about it, so what’s the plan?” Bruce and Dick look at each other. They’d been trying for weeks now trying to find a lead of some sort, with Constantine and Zatanna’s help they’d be able to figure it out much faster.

“Fine,” Bruce shakes Constantine’s hand and, at the snap of a finger, a portal opens up next to Constantine.

“Then let’s start our search,” he invites the two to enter first. “You coming, Zee?”

“I’ll follow, I want to study this watch first.”

“Smart move,” Dick says.

“I’ll see you all soon,” she watches the portal close.

The three men land in what looks like a small village. People milled about and kept to themselves while they moved about the streets.

“So where is this protege of yours?” Bruce asks.

“Beats me,” Constantine shrugs.

“What do you mean?!” Dick shouts.

“Might’ve landed in the wrong town,” Constantine looks around. “‘Scuse me, love, which way to the Capital?” He pulls aside a maiden. He cheeks tinge pink before pointing down the road.

“You’ll get there in three days if you walk, hail a cab, they’ll be able to take you there faster,” she says.

“Will do, thanks,” Constantine holds his hand up. “You guys have cash right?”

“Who do you think I am?” Bruce asks. Constantine busies himself looking for a cab while Bruce and Dick stuck together, looking around the village with a hawk’s eye.

“Whoops! Sorry, mister!” A kid accidentally collides into Bruce and runs off. Bruce checks his pockets quickly, feeling everything still inside, and soon the duo notice the grouping of children.

“Wonder what the fuss is about,” Dick stretches slightly to try to see what everyone’s looking at. “Hey, what’s everyone so excited about?” Dick asks one of the newspaper boys.

“You don’t know?” The kid asks.

“Nope,” Dick answers with a shrug.

“Dang, mister, are you living under a rock?!” He hands him a newspaper and Dick skims through it. “The Dark Knight is coming!” Bruce turned his attention to the newspaper kid. “We’ll be saved from the daemons!”

“The Dark Knight?” Dick asks, catching on to Bruce’s attention.

“Duh! Captain Wayne!”

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[eggwishing]

LORD alfuckingmighty i don't think there is a single string of words i could piece 2gether to properly describe the absolute magnificence of ur art . you have such a vast understanding of art & so many of its intricacies. ur character designs are ALWAYS incredible, so so endearing & memorable. every time i see one i get incredibly excited & am strangled by the urge to make fanart because just. oh my god. you have some of the BEST color work i have ever fucking seen like it is genuinely fucking spectacular what you are able to create & look good with combinations of colors i would NOT think to place in the way you do if i were given the same palette. i feel like calling your doodles just "doodles" is like, WRONG, because every single one is something u could spend ages looking at on its own. i'd pick favorites to describe but we would be here for hours . you have the insane ability to keep your style consistent but are able to stretch it & change it for whatevers appropriate/the receive your desired result for the particular drawing and its just SO. SO. COOL. take literally all of this and add it to the fact that you can fucking ANIMATE !!! while still keeping all of these features of ur style intact and that fact is just OTHERWORLDLY to me in the best way possible . not only that but ur stories r always so very intriguing and it makes me SOO ANGRY that oc artwork & original stories dont receive the same attention as fandom work or otherwise because i swear 2 fucking god you go absolutely ABOVE and beyond in terms of creativity for ur stories & DESERVE THE RECOGNITION AAAAAAAAUUUUUUGHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRORWGGGGGGGGGGGGRWGGGGGGGGGGRGGGGGGGGGRGGGGGGGGGGGGGRGGGGGGGGGGGGGG okay im done. i hav been up for almost 24 hours and saw one of ur drawings and got real emotional ihope uhave an awesome day eebrt i hope to be at least 10th place in ur list of biggest fans .

oh my god . I'm responding to this on a computer which doesn't have any of my usual images OR emojis that I would usually throw at you like. I don't know Someone who's really really REALLY good at throwing stuff. so I'll just use my words. THANK YOU SO MUCH !!!!!! this means the absolute world to me.. I did not expect to be blasted in the face by one million kisses when I checked my inbox, I had to sit back in my chair like WOW.... I love you .... I love youuuu...... thank you so much for the encouragement, I've been feeling not so confident And kind of afraid (leaving to study animation in college very soon) for the last few days n your words are lifting me out of the void like bingbong's rocket from inside out. not gonna lie your comments are one of the highlights of posting on Tumblr, I love reading them so much when you reblog my stuff. they're beautiful and always make me feel better when I'm feeling down... you were there from the days of homestuck dragons... you were always there for my ocs... You are a "real one." If I had a heart locket I'd print out your icon and put it in there along with all the other people I treasure ^_^ so yeah, definitely in the ranks... when I'm up on stage wearing a solid gold tuxedo (they had to wheel me in because I could not walk in the Solid Gold Tuxedo) and giving my speech to the world before I take it over my i will start by saying First of all I'd like to thank Mel Tumblr user Melissa-titanium On Tumblr for always hyping me up... could not have made it this far without him. And then I'd press the doomsday button and blow up every world leader.

I wish I could respond with something that appropriately returns the energy of what you sent me, but this is all I've got. Just know I am vibrating in my chair right now... hope you got some sleep!!!!! <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

[polyamorousmood]

Hi! I've viewed your blog for quite some time now and I've gotten the urge to send this ask a few times now but I've always gotten nervous about it. Like I accidentally forget to put on anonymous mode or something. But I've finally worked up the courage to ask for your advice on this.

So I um...I pretty recently discovered I'm polyamorous. It felt weird and first but now it just...feels right to me. It's great, and I'm glad I discovered more about myself. But I've also been having issues due to...crushes.

I may have...gotten a crush on a couple.

(This is an online thing, for the record)

I had just been trying to get over my previous crush due to some stuff happening (Nothing bad mind, we're still good friends) when I briefly talked to this person. I had seen them around quite a bit and they seemed nice so I'd always liked them in a way, just not like this. Then suddenly after that talk I...kept thinking about them. More and more I kept thinking about how cool they were and how funny they were and how cute they must- Ah crap.

Yeah, I realized pretty quickly I got a crush on them. So, knowing they're a fairly well known artist in the fandom I met them in, I rushed to Twitter to check out their account to see if they already have a partner. Low and behold, they do! So everything should be good and I can move on...right?

...

I developed a crush on their partner too after doing more digging.

So now I'm kind of just...scared because I've never had a crush on a couple before. I'm not really sure what to do. I've done the usual stuff I do with my initial crush. Just saying hello and having some chats with them to become their friend and it's been really fun! But I just...I don't know how I'd get to talking with their partner or hinting at my feelings. I don't wanna feel like a creep or weirdo or anything.

This is all very new to me and I'm a little scared. I'm trying to brave my way through this and I'm gonna try and confess at some point. But I just...don't really know how at the moment. Not like I intend to confess any time soon, we're still relatively new to each other.

Do you have any advice?

Heyyy, congrats and welcome to the team!!!! 😊😊

Its a lot of fun here, and I'm happy to have you aboard.

I've answered a similar ask before, but I can't find it now (thanks tumblr search disfunction!) so you probably don't have a prayer.

Basically, step one is to mention your own polyamory, and see how they react (once you get to a point that's a normal thing to do, since you said its still early). If they seem uncomfortable, take that as your no. If they seem polite, proceed with caution, and if they get suspiciously into it, well... I'd take that as a good sign

Fingers crossed for you!! 🤞🤞

[deathclassic]

art tag

love a good art tag so thank you @doshiart for thinking of me <3

How did you start drawing? What year was it that you become more seriously and consciously interested in it?

uh ive been drawing all my life, i wanted to be an 'artist' when i was 6 and then it kinda went into different ideas surrounding art - tattoo artist, graphic designer, illustrator, etc etc and then i decided to pursue graphic design afer high schoo about 8 years ago? and have a degree in that now

When you felt the urge to share your art with other people? When did you start posting your drawings on social media?

i was always drawing for other people and then i started posting my fanart when i got twitter and tumblr in 2010, so it's still floating around on here

Your first/earliest drawing. What were your impressions of it back then and what are your feelings now?

i was probably really proud of it and had probably never seen a giraffe at all, i was 5. there's earlier ones out there of course but this is the earliest i could find around me

Your first fanart ever

i cant find my fanart of my little pony from 2004, or my fall out boy, panic at the disco and my chemical romance stuff from 2008. i drew this of ian in 2011 though.

Your first gallavich fanart

see above

When you had bad days and things didn't work out, what inspired you to keep trying?

what else was i gonna do with my life lol, im not good at maths, im not good at english, im not good at science so this was the only thing left. i dont share what i draw most of the time, no one needs to see it, so i just sketch whats around me, i scribble just to get the anxiety out. and then i come back sometimes weeks later like it never happened.

Show your old piece that you strongly dislike and tell why.

i was just getting back into the shameless fandom after being in and out since 2011 and i hadnt actually drawn them for a long time so i hate this one with a burning passion.

Show your old piece that you very like and tell why. What's the difference with the previous?

this is a scanned version, it's done entirely in sharpie. i like how simple it is, just one medium, stark contrast, and yeah. difference between them is that one is digital and one is traditional, one was done after drawing them for years and the other was done after taking a break to draw for other fandoms.

Show your old piece that you were very proud of back then.

maybe this one from university? i made a guidebook of architecture of melbourne and i drew every building by hand, i did this maybe 4 years ago?

Do you do any practice sketches or warm-ups before you draw something big?

oh yeah - mind maps, thumbnails, hand drawn text exploration, figure sketches, writing down different values. every single one of my drawings that get posted start like this

Sketch vs Final. Show your process.

i had to redesign the blair witch movie poster

Your most recent drawing.

logo ive been working on for a client - not bound by contract so i can share it with you because i dont want to share my secret santa thing lol

Give yourself some praise! Look at what improved in your art!

im glad you kept going. through all the death threats, through people selling your stuff without you knowing, through the depression. who knew you'd still be drawing for the same fandoms decades later?

Any advice you'd give to your earlier self?

stop giving a SHIT about everyone else. draw for yourself and no one else.

Set a goal for yourself for the coming year.

stop getting taken advantage of <3

im tagging @spookygingerr @ghoulish-art-tendencies

@vintagelacerosette @suzy-queued @cal-tastrophe @iansw0rld @heymrspatel @grumble-fish

[zara-renata]

i have thoughts about your most recent fic and tumblr’s comment character limit has brought me to your ask box again 🙈

omgggg it’s so good to know sylus’s POV during that wine night!! and i don’t know why and how, but sylus’s thoughts about mc here, esp how he feels about her selfless tendencies (to her detriment), makes me feel vulnerable and seen. when i read reader-insert fics, i tend to imagine a separate character for mc even though it’s technically supposed to be me in my head. perhaps the character i made up resembles me (but better lmao), but different enough that she’s like an individual on her own. but when i read this fic, it’s like sylus was talking about me, as in the real me, which made me emotional. it could be that the way mc handles herself poorly in here resonates with me due to some irl stuff, but honestly it’s primarily how good you write about a character’s emotions and thoughts. it’s like the words reached across my screen and tugged at my heart. you’re such a great writer when it comes to expressing a character’s innermost thoughts. it’s like i’ve been placed inside a character’s mind to bare witness their raw self.

again, i love how your sylus x mc dynamics, at least for this series, revolve around an mc oblivious to how much sylus cares about her. it seems she doesn’t even believe she’s deserving of such affection, nor is she fitting to be the object of such primal desires. in a way, she’s kind of self-sabotaging in the sense that she thinks she doesn’t deserve kindness, help, and affection. she’s genuinely fine with taking the brunt of the pain and suffering – and not even in the hero, martyr kind of way. it seems it’s how she’s always been, such behavioral tendencies of hers seem to be as normal as the sky is blue, which is sad and concerning because she deserves so much. i’m honestly excited to see sylus try to knock down her hardened walls and have her realize how deserving she is of so many things. i hope she realizes she can relax, rest, take it easy, and feel safe. especially with him.

i actually laughed out loud about how unhinged sylus can be about his sexual desires for her. like the man is blue-balled to heck, but he isn’t the kind to succumb to his base urges. he really respects and loves mc. i think i would even say he reveres her, given the fan theories around their past. it’s like his urges are just something that come with his intense adoration and care for mc, which is so so admirable and attractive.

maybe i’m just a tad sensitive today, but i completely zeroed in on the emotional aspects of this fic – quite a difference as to how i salivated over your previous fic in your ask box LMAO. coincidence is such a funny thing because i feel like i really needed to read this fic today. i feel much better and more ready to face the day. this has been such a good read, and i humbly offer my apologies for yapping at your ask box yet again 🧎‍♀️🫣

First off, you never have to apologize for sending me your thoughts. I'm so happy every time I receive an ask, it's always an unexpected surprise. And your asks are always really thoughtful and fun to read! I wasn't just patronizing you when I said last time that it was really fun to receive such a spicy ask about the NSFW aspects of Sylus's character and dynamic with mc in these stories. A huge part of his appeal is his physicality and how he shows his affection through actions. Hot, hot, actions.

To be honest, this message from you is really reassuring, because I've noticed that a lot of the fanfic that gets a lot of traction in (any) fandom is of the NSFW variety (which, duh, I totally understand and appreciate and consume happily), and I worry that because I'm not currently focusing purely on that aspect of Sylus that people will be less interested in reading what I'm sharing, especially the installments that are so mc POV heavy. So to hear that you also like being in this mc's head, and can relate to this mc, that how I have Sylus respond to this mc's issues and hangups and trauma brings you comfort, is amazing for me as a wannabe writer. Although I also want to give you a hug (with your consent of course) if you can really relate to this mc because no one should ever have to feel what you so accurately point out about what this mc feels: that whatever pain you're experiencing is normal, and expected, and you can hardly imagine that someone would be so dedicated to helping relieve it for and with you. Because everyone deserves to feel cherished and demand more than the bare minimum from the world and the people in their life. I'm hoping that I can keep writing this story as an exploration of Sylus teaching mc that, and that you continue to derive comfort from it. Because in the end, fanfic can serve many purposes. And just like it can be a vehicle for exploring incredibly dark and disturbing and cathartic themes using our favorite characters, I think it can also be the ultimate comfort food, and sometimes you should just be able to feel fucking good reading it. I'm so happy to hear that this part did that for you. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.

[rosaletarosie]

SOOOOOO- IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME...HELLO EVERYONE !!! :DDD

Sorry for the sudden disappearance...I really had no motivation at all but I am working on the requests and such! And also I've been pretty busy with irl stuff soooo... let's do this lil request that someone asked me on my Tumblr dms shall we...?

This person has been having a tough time so in return and since I am feeling rather motivated and having the urge to help this person as much as I can, I'll be doing the requests again so get ready if you see any random posts of people's requests sksksksk :))))

ANYWAYS LET'S GET STARTED >:DDDDD

•------------------------------------------•

Category: Oneshot and Headcanon

Fandom: LMK

S/O Gender: Female

•------------------------------------------•

The Sun and Moon duo having a fem chubby tomboy S/O !! ( Separate )

•------------------------------------------•

First up...Sun wukong !!

First off....MY GUY WOULD PROBABLY COME WITH YOU TO THE MALL AND BUY THEM COMFY ASS CLOTHES FOR YOU 🤩✨

People call you fat and think it's bad? Ho, ho, ho...They better run cause your bf boutta kill them and take their head to bring it to you, hopefully you'll accept this gift of his <3333

If you know how to fight then do please train with him...please-

If you're up with physical affection then wukong would probably start cuddling you and fricking snuggle you like his personal teddy bear and if people think that's disgusting then he'll just have to kill them 🤩✨💅

If he sees someone flirt with you or give any romantic affection towards you in any other way he would be death glaring as in he would be glaring at them so much that it fricking rips their confidence into pieces and they just casually run away 🫢✨✨

*Peacefully squeezes your cheeks and hug you out of you being an adorable eusiiwkejsjsj* don't worry he isn't gonna squeeze you to death....maybe...

He doesn't care if you're a tomboy since he has seen different types of people and has probably adapted to them so if you like wearing pants more than dresses then he'll happily help you in your outfit choices and such!!

Everytime you guys are in the public, Wukong would probably wrap his tail around your arm and basically squeeze your arm as a response since he doesn't like crowded places, so he basically just squeezes your arm if he wants to get out of this crowded place ✨🤩✨🤩✨🤩

If you're feeling sad and such, the best way to vent is for him to be right beside you in the couch and you guys just cuddling and stuff and then talk about your day and vent, he'll probably rub your hands so he can soothen them while you vent and talk 😋✨😋✨😋✨😋

Now have this lil oneshot I have of him proposing to you, it's very short soooo yeah 🤩✨🤩✨🤩✨

*ahem*

He wraps his scarf around your eyes so you would be surprised by his little gift for you, he takes your hand as he drags you to some place beautiful, he takes off the scarf and puts it on his neck again. You look around and noticed the rather breath taking view you were in, you were on a cliff side where you could see the entire city from here, while you were in awe about the view wukong kneels before you as he takes out an peach from his pocket but it wasn't just any ordinary peach, it was a peach of immortality... "S/O I know that we've gone to some tough times but we mostly amazing memories together...I don't really know how to do this so I'll be straight forward...would you like to stay with me for eternity?" He gives the peach to you as you ate it, It was a sign that you accept his proposal, he was overjoyed as he lifts you up and spins you around in happens, the light of dawn sparkling in your skin as he looks at you in awe...it was as if he found someone special.... someone that he would do anything for...someone he would die for....and that special something....was you.

Next up...The six eared macaque!!

One of my HEADCANONS for macaque is that he doesn't care if his S/O is chubby or fat or skinny and such, all he cares about is that they've gotta be someone that he trusts and he trusts you for some reason....he doesn't know why either but he feels safe around you...

Bro would probably sacrifice anything for you....probably even himself too...which is a little concerning- 😰✨😰✨😰✨😰

Everytime he comes over to your apartment and he sees you watching something, he would most definitely just pop out of nowhere and sit beside you and as for you, you got so used to it that you would practically just not panick and pull him closer to you 🤩✨🤩✨🤩✨

Sometimes when he sleeps beside you he watches you sleep and he just looks at you in awe <33333

He may not be one for physical affection much but if you guys did cuddle up together then he would most definitely just fricking hug you like a stuffed animal, it's just one of his habits 🤩✨🤩✨🤩✨

Basically you're cooking breakfast for the both of you and then suddenly macaque just hugs you from behind and telling you good morning as he hugs you tightly and as he burries his face on your neck 😋✨😋✨😋✨😋✨✨😋

If someone were to flirt with you or show their romantic side to you, just so you know...he'll most definitely have his tail around your arm and slowly growl and grumble at the person who is trying to flirt with you and if anyone calls you ugly then...ready for the best roast challenge of your life!!! 🫢✨🫢✨🫢✨

Bro absolutely hates wukong so if he sees you talking about wukong in the slightest or wukong just talking at you in person then he'll either way cover your mouth with his tail and drag your attention to him or he'll have another fight with wukong again <333333

My guy doesn't care if your a tomboy but as long as you're not being fake or denying who you want to be then he'll be fine with it ^^

And now have another lil short oneshot of macaque proposing to you 🫢✨🫢✨🫢✨🫢✨

*ahem*

You and macaque are currently on a date together, most importantly it was your anniversary for being in a relationship for 3 years now, you looked up in the sky as you and macaque talk about stuff and such, it was night time and you 2 are currently talk in the park while sitting in a bench, as soon as the moon shined the brightest macaque's quickly got out of the bench and kneeled, he takes something from his pocket and brings out a small box, he opens it and there you find a ring with mini details on it, it may not have any gems and such but the detail on the ring look so good. "S/O, my love, my dear, my everything...I know this may be so sudden but...once you came to my life it was like faith had finally given me a chance...a chance to change and it did...so...S/O...would you stay with me forever..?" As soon as he said that you nodded and he swiftly puts the ring on your ring finger, it fits your ring finger exactly, he looks at you and smiles at you but not just any smile....a genuine one...it was like the strings of faith brought you both together....

•------------------------------------------•

I HOPED YOU LIKE ITTTT DOSKKEEK <333333

This actually took me 2 hours to complete but that's fine! I really hope you like it !! <3333

P.S I am currently sick rn so wish me luck-

( Person who requested it: @chibithewitch )

[unreadpoppy]

Internet 101, Fandoms and curating your online experience

I saw some stuff happening both on tumblr and on twitter (and sometimes even on instagram) regarding some fandom stuff and I wanted to make a post about, but in more of a "How to keep your peace of mind and create a healthy space" sort of post. These are just some things that I do that allow me to have a better experience on the internet as a whole, but especially on fandom spaces, and idk, I wanted to share bc navigating this sort of thing can be hard and it doesn't hurt to try and help.

One thing that I've learned very early on by people who had been on the internet for longer than me is that you do not feed the trolls. Listen. People will post shit to stir the pot, and you giving them attention is falling into their bait.

And I get it, I'm human too, I see someone talking shit and I feel the urge to give them a lenghty reply but at some point you gotta stop and think: is this worth it? like, i'm getting mad over a rando on the internet who'll probably just laugh at me. Even if we really feel like answering, it's probably always better to let it go.

And while I'm on the topic, I also want to say the following: no matter how many good arguments you have, no matter how eloquent you are, you cannot change people's minds. I've tried it and all it did was make me stressed. And especially with regards to bigots, they will not change their minds, so don't give them your time and your peace of mind because they do not care about you or your feelings. I'm a queer disabled latina woman, I get it, it sucks and it will always suck, but people will not change what they think because of lenghy ass paragraph someone on the internet sent them, so it's better to just...move on.

And by move on, I do mean do not interact in any way, shape or form. Just...scroll past it. Because it's not worth it, it truly is not, and more likely then not, even by just giving the post or person a small bit of attention, you could cause a whole situation. Do not give people clout, because then they'll get the satisfaction of both having attention AND causing such a reaction from another person.

Like, speaking from experience here, I have received a few hateful/mean spirited anons on my inbox over the years and you wanna know something? You will not find those asks on my blog because I have a 0 tolerance for hate anons. Replying to them only generates more hate anons (trust me, I've seen that happen to other people). When you show someone that you're not affected by the shit they're saying, they'll move on because you are no longer a target. This is why is so important to know when to not interact and just continue moving on.

Still on this topic but more related to fandom. People will have different opinions then you. People will have different HCs then you. People will misinterpret your favorite character. Hell, I've seen takes on my faves that honestly insult my intellect and you know what I did?

Let it go. Just scrolled past, made a mental note not to interact with that person, because again, people won't change their minds. And people are entitled to have their opinions, and enjoy characters in a different way then you do, and the best thing to do is not give them your time. Just don't. It's much better (and probably healthier) to spend your time interacting with people you like and who you can talk to then try to change a person's opinion and pottentialy instigate a fight.

For the sake of not making the same point again and again, I want to talk about blocking people, bc blocking people is the easiest way to curate your experience. There is no morality in blocking. You're not some evil bastard or a super hero because you blocked someone, so don't ascribe morality to that. Just block whoever (and whatever, because blocking tags exist) you don't want to see and move on.

Finally, my last advice is: somethings are best kept private and by private I mean get yourself some friend who you can just talk shit about to. Listen, sometimes the urge to be like "this bitch online is an idiot" is BIG and the best thing you can do about it, in a way that won't cause a fight or whatever, is to go to some friend and say "let me talk shit for a few minutes". Trust me, IT WORKS. So many times I've been tempted to say stuff, only to go to a friend and talk about the stuff and then boom, I was done. I was okay. So yeah, there's stuff that is better to be sent in a groupchat then to be posted about.

This post is longer than I intended but I feel like we should try to just have fun? This is the internet, the good part about it is that we can choose who we can engage with and what we want to say, and it's way more productive to spend your time with people that matter, that you care about and that make you happy then stressing over people who simply do not care and who will not change.

Anyways, peace out

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

i keep telling myself to quit checking up on KM spaces cause there’s literally nothing but bickering and going out of the way to find things to be mad at but I keep ending up coming back 😓 it’s so hard, I still think about them a lot and I generally enjoy doing so! They make me happy to think about, genuinely. it’s been a force of habit for so long but the vibe with no new content (I try and avoid military updates but they waft into my view every so often and I’m glad they seem to be doing ok at least) is just so nasty it’s just like can’t everyone just relax and be happy knowing they’re together??? Obviously I am the problem here and I need to stop but it’s a struggle….do I need to just go completely cold turkey on bangtan? 😂 is that what you did when you took a long break? It’s not like I don’t have hobbies and a job and stuff, but for a long time they’ve occupied a special nice place where I just think of them and generally enjoy reading people’s thoughts about them, but over the past year especially w the solo stuff it’s just gotten kinda rancid

Hello, anon

I understand you completely. If something has become part of your daily routine, on top of other activities and interests, it's normal to get the urge to check up on it. Cold turkey might not help because it increases the chances of going back to it. I'm going through the same thing nowadays. I'm aware that right now, there's barely any point in keeping up with that part of my interests online. KM have enlisted and despite seeing some military updates, I'm not excitedly/anxiously looking forward to it. Like you, I think it's nice to see that they appear fine, but personally I could live without those updates as well. Consequently, I barely discuss it even on my blog, I don't find it necessary.

Most likely, the upcoming show will be the only relevant content that makes me still keep an eye on them right now and that's because the announcement might drop at any time. By not knowing exactly when, it's enough to keep at least a part of the fandom waiting and participating online. Not a bad strategy, but a frustrating one for us.

Likewise, by still checking up tumblr/twitter, I'm also exposing myself to daily fights, endless debates on relationship dynamics and so on. I find it pointless and I'd say a sign of boredom if this wasn't the modus operandi of the fandom anyway.

I made a vague comment recently, but it is terribly annoying having to read left and right troll anons baiting bloggers who then are bringing receipts to demonstrate that KM are close. Really? We're still doing that in 2024? People are talking in circles to demonstrate something that doesn't need more proving. Twitter is worse because they fight like idiots under the guise of defending. The knights in shining armour fighting for the princesses.

As to solo stans, I don't have an issue with the idea of only liking an artist and that's it. If only that would be the full definition. Anyone acting like not only a fanatic, but writing like some miserable 4chan user is someone I really can't stand. It's slowly becoming standard stan behavior and I see this in other fandoms as well, including those of western artists. It's nasty and embarassing.

When I took a break, I unfollowed almost all KM and JM focused accounts. The ones remaining I muted so I had to go to my following list and check each individually if I wanted to see what was up. My point was to not have any of that on my timeline. I think it worked for a while. Now I'm back to how it was before and I don't know how that happened. I should make some changes again.

[noriko04]

Tagged by @eternal-echoes (ty ^^)

1) The last Podcast you listened to? with reasons.

some months ago I listened to a podcast about the damaging effects of mouth breathing . Maybe for those who never heard about it this may seem... both weird and boring but as a teen I discovered I have this subconscious habit and even though I now mostly fixed this issue I sometimes still have some interest in informing myself more deeply about it.

2) what was the last fanfic you read? What did you like about it?

Oh boy, it's been a while since the last time I've read a fanfiction. It was one year ago, roughly, and it was about Hakuoki (I think it's easy to infer that this series is my current fixation XD). I think there was some angst involved though I don't remember well. And the way feelings were described... Amazing. Very beautiful, there a lot of very talented artists in that fandom.

3) You favorite discord server?

I don't have a discord actually and I don't feel the urge of making an account for it at the moment. Maybe in the future I'll do.

4) open Pinterest and show the first think it recommends you!

ok :)

kitty, some nature pictures and Hakuoki related stuff (beautiful fan art btw). Yup, undeniably my account

5) If your comfortable, show me something from your notes app!

Uhmmm.... I use my notes app mainly to write down passwordS, pins and other personal information so I'll pass on that (I know this is probably not the best way to store this stuff. I'll organize myself better... Once I'll overcome my laziness lmao).

6) Show us who you last gave a like on Tumblr! And why?

Link: https://www.tumblr.com/myrcellathemarred/109213275952?source=share

I love this so much so I think I'll reblog it too. There are times where I feel in the mood for spam reblogging/spam liking old posts about HIM and this is the period. And by HIM I mean Okita Souji from Hakuoki.

For those who don't know him... well you can see that he can be very unhinged. But he is at the same super sweet once you get to know him in the game (in the anime too, but in the visual novel he's explored more deeply) . He is very complex and I can say with convinction that he has occupied a very special place in my heart <3.

I wonder if I'll ever get cured by my Souji-addiction (but frankly, I don't event want to be :) )

7) Show us a picture that's in your galary that you are proud off/like/are comfortable sharing.

I think I'll pass on that too. Most of the stuff in my gallery are boring screenshots. I have personal photos too but I'm not comfortable sharing them here.

8) final question, what was the last YouTube video you watched?

Tarot card reading based on my zodiac sign lol. I'm not sure I fully believe in this stuff but I still find it interesting.

I don't know if everyone feels like participating in this so as usual no pressure. Tagging: @krisomela, @flowerynameslover, @himiko-omikami, @nuriakendo, @riveroflonging, @mydemonsandme

If I forgot some people on this list who want to participate feel free to tell me and I'll tag you as well.

[ashpkat]

dude like.

as a fic writer and AVID fan of mgst stuff I constantly get the urge to just rewrite the whole Golden Tower. all of it. I have several pages of plot points and character changes and endings and whatever I'll randomly begin gargling at during classes

for example, take: mostly canon compliant up until the part Alex was supposed to show up as a fuckin. bitch. and then just don't have him show up.

instead why not invest some more into Anastasia's actual character cause we do NOT get as much from her as I wanted and that woman needs to go full mother rage mode??? maybe have HER be another obstacle, but not in a big final boss battle way. more in a. yeah it's a battle but it's more destabilizing to call than anything and he and Aaron fight n shit and call tries to get Aaron to maybe get a new body and Aaron just doesn't want that. he wants to pass on cause you can't reverse death.

or maybe not even that, there's so much material that you can trust and change to make a more believable solid damn ending

and maybe the golden Tower is just more character resolutions and tying up loose ends and facing everything that's come to a conclusion cleanly, giving call and Tamara space to move on and for the world to be kinder and man there's just SO MUCH that could have been changed. done better.

Alastair lives btw the man didn't deserve his ,,, Devouring (??). poor little mechanic lad.

these were so cracked up on the shot i don't even have my note pages with me but like I COULD SEE MYSELF REWRITING THIS AND AS THE ONLY STILL ACTIVE MGST TUMBLR AND AO3 I JUST NEED TO KNOW

do you see my vision. are we vision together. fix tower gold. it's possible we just need to human up and do it bro (I am talking to myself this is self motivation)

GHTFHHUJ. floor

oh boy this was a doozy to decipher through my sleep deprived brain. also i can’t believe i was referred to as the only active magisterium ao3 and tumblr that’s so depressing (assuming that’s what u were doing)

and yes. i see the vision. i like the idea that tgt could’ve been used less as a ‘Cramming Every Single Plot Line We Can Into 250 Pages’ book and more as a way to see character resolution. (like callmara. excuse me but thats a trauma bond when i see one. this is the piper/jason of the mgst fandom except one got a satisfying ending that made sense and the other was a shit show in order to for the mc to have a love interest. tamara didn’t deserve to have her character stripped from her in order to be a love interest. jasper didn’t deserve to have his character growth completely stunted. call was um. call turned into generic mc. Aaron shouldn’t have come back. sigh. love me some Tragic Lovers. calron enthusiast here. i could go on and on)

also aalstair did not deserve to get devoured his ass would NOT sacrifice himself for the magisterium 🤣🤣🤣 his son SURE but nah not the whole magisterium. he would’ve scooped up call and they would’ve changed their names and moved to cuba or some shit idk.

and as an avid anastasia fan / mgst villain enthusiast YES YES YES. i need more crazy mom ana. give me toxic boy mom eliza madden. we could do it. we could team up. team up of the century. avengers assemble idfk i’ve never watched a marvel movie

[sky-kenobye]

✨✨✨✨🫱Care to share🫲✨✨✨✨

The message was sent to you because someone loved your writing and stories. ❤️

▪️What are your writing suggestions for newcomers, or what would you have liked to know when you first started?

▪️How do you write different personalities and perspectives? Could you explain how you came up with the manner you written your favorite or any character?

▪️What do you do when you have writer's block?

▪️How do you come up with new ideas and develop them?

▪️Any messages for your readers or fellow writers?

You are welcome to answer if you have the time and desire, or you can simply respond to the questions that come to mind.

💐Thank you for your work as a writer and as a member of this fandom!💐

Awww 🥺🥺🥺 Thank you so much, this ask really made my day <3<3

■ My writing suggestion for newcomers is: go for it. If you want to write something, do it, there'll always be someone that is happy your fic exists. That might be hypocritical to say since i have a hard time applying this to myself, but I don't believe there's any idea too weird or silly or niche to be written.

Also don't be scared to reach out to other writers, people are lovely around here <3

■ How do I write different perspectives? Honestly I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time, I just write and try to make it sound like the character I'm writing. Usually I end up with something that keep shifting perspectives every two sentences so then I have to go back and change it to make it less inconsistent.

■ I've never really thought of myself as having writer's block because not writing is my default state, and sometimes i get into a weird zone and suddenly write a fic. So I guess the answer is that I just don't write? I have tried to write at moments when nothing would come out and I usually end up closing my laptop and not touch my fic for a while until the next time i feel the urge to write.

■ To come up with new ideas i just daydream constantly. I get things from everywhere: fics, books, movies, tumblr posts, what happens in my life... and sometimes one thing will stick for whatever reason and I'll develop a whole scenario around that. Unfortunately it rarely makes it into writing before my brain latches on another idea and I get a brand new daydreaming scenario. Some of them do come back though so there's a possibility they'll see the light of day.

The stuff I actually write so far has mostly been me projecting my feelings into fics I guess. Almost all of my published fics (in all fandoms) have something to do with aromanticism and/or asexuality (not in my qpr fic (yet?) but the fact that it's a qpr is very aro of me lol).

And to develop those ideas more, if I have managed to write it down I just keep re-reading it and adding stuff whenever I get an new idea. I'm really mostly just winging it x)

■ To my readers and fellow writers: I love you guys <3<3 I'm far from being the most active member of the fandom but you're all so encouraging and kind, I wouldn't be even half as invested in writing whatever I write (when I manage to do it) if it wasn't for you, and it would be much less fun to be part of this fandom. You're making me feel part of a community and that means so much to me 💙

Thanks again for the ask!

[six-of-ravens]

aloha friends and people who left annoying incorrect opinions on my posts, raistlin is a waif he is the waifiest waif it doesn't matter if his twin is a brick shithouse you are WRONG I am kinda sorta back. maybe only for one tipsy night, but who knows. listen, I'm 1.5 ciders in and feeling Properly Tipsy as opposed to last night when I drank jack and cokes for the first time in a while and just felt nauseous, so I'm Thriving atm. ANYWAY.

i feel like i have cleared some cobwebs from my brain. kind of. mostly i redownloaded bc i have the irresistible urge to natter about my life. tbh i considered deleting tumblr for a while bc there are some things about this site (but also social media in general) that annoy the absolute shit out of me, and also i feel like I dedicated too much ~mental energy~ to this site in the past (not to sound like some new age crackpot) and I need to cut down on how much scrolling and getting mad about other people's incorrect opinions I do. However, there are a few beloved mutuals on here that I miss talking to and also tumblr is kinda Home, y'know?

anyway TLDR I'm back, kinda. might still delete the app during the day so I can focus on IRL shit instead of being a zillennial social media addict, so I apologize if I miss messages etc but. yeah. for the sake of my mental health I have to be better at self-policing. Also, no longer going to allow myself to use the For You tab, so sorry if I don't see your posts bc tumblr only served them there. I can't control it lmao. frankly the algorithm here just ain't good enough and I don't want to cry AGAIN bc a video of a naked woman jiggling her stomach with a caption about how much she hates herself and wants to lose weight came up on my feed. Frankly since this is tumblr I'm not sure if that's porn or self-harm, but either way, fuck off with that shit, man! I kinda hate my body too and I don't wanna see that!! I don't want that in my brain!! Hence why I quit and went to ig-only for a while. My IG is all pottery and miniatures and painting and European travel vlogs it's so PEACEFUL!

now onto the fun stuff, a list of things I consider interesting that happened in the past 3ish weeks:

have done a whole lot of reading lately: Homesick for Another World by Ottessa Moshfegh which is weird and off-putting by very worth reading, then a reread of the Unicorn series by Vicki Blum (always a delight) and finishing Princess Jellyfish (there's quite the plot twist in the last few books but overall it's a delightful series), then my hold for Please Kill Me: The Uncensored Oral History of Punk came up (extremely interesting and worthwhile read, especially after listening to the No Dogs in Space punk series, very sad ending though bc of course a lot of the punk musicians passed away young), and now I'm rereading The Mermaid's Secret and The Dragon Prince by Vicki Blum as a palate cleanser, and then hopefully I'll start the LoTR reread I've been meaning to do for a while. So yeah I read like 16 books in 3 weeks. this is the power of quitting social media.

Also I've kinda discovered that I'm just pretty... disenchanted with all book-fandoms online. it's just so...kinda annoying? nowadays? just the same old drama over and over and I don't caaaare lol. Read what you want, at whatever speed you want, idc, none of it matters. I read for funsies after work. Some people read 24/7 because being a book blogger is their career. Some people are 17 and still have the mental stamina to read a 500 page book in 2 days. Idgaf if you read Maas or Austen or Sanderson or whatever, there's no moral high ground (except maybe not giving Sanderson money bc WOW BYU is a shitty organization). Also I don't necessarily want other people's opinions on what I read or if a book I just bought has "mixed reviews" or whatever (unless the person is a mutual whose opinions I value lol). So I might start posting on the book blog again but just....not interact with booklr. Torn between the desire to communicate with others and the desire to keep my hobby all to myself and free from unnecessary judgement or bullshit.

Finally rearranged my bookshelves, by ~vibe or whatever~. Might post photos tomorrow but the living room is once again in a state of chaos since I started gardening today.

On that note, started my garden! planted some veggies, herbs, and a whole boatload of tomatoes in seedling trays (listen, MacKenzie seed were on sale 3/$5 today at the store and I'm weak for weird tomato variants and herbs. Still need to find rosemary and fennel though). Have more stuff to do, but I'm going to give the seedlings a couple weeks to get started and then maybe plant everything else Easter weekend. Last year was nice, garden-wise, but this year I really hope we don't get 30C weather in May. My allergies cannot handle it 😭

saw the Alien/Aliens double feature our cheap theatre put on and it was a DELIGHT

we also got a record snowstorm that weekend, which sucked bc it was the same week I'd had a random friday booked off (previously for traveling with my aunt, very glad that was cancelled now) so I basically did none of the other things I had planned.

also after said double feature, had to make my first 911 call. luckily I rot my brain with true crime All Day Every Day so I handled it like a pro 😤 (i am fine it was for another person, and uh, it turned out to not be so serious once the emergency people were able to get them to stop crying hysterically and realized this poor person was just intoxicated, underdressed for the weather, and a bit lost)

discovered the health foods store near my place has a bunch of funky herbal teas for like $5.50 a box so I've been going a little nuts there. I LOVE FENNEL TEA IT'S SO GOOD. ALSO LAVENDER MY BELOVED! they also have a bunch of local coffee blends, and I'm seriously considering getting a coffee bean grinder so I can try them

saw Lisa Frankenstein the week after the Alien double feature at that same theatre, it was fucking excellent I laughed my ass off, also at that theatre you can get your ticket and snacks and drink for the same price as a Cineplex ticket, it's excellent

finally watched Saltburn, which was great. love the Donna Tartt vibes. i watched it while somewhat drunk off Soju, which I think is how it's meant to be viewed.

also started a Ghibli rewatch, to justify not cancelling my Netflix just yet (I know I know, I should but I technically can afford it and it's my emotional support streamer you know? how else am I going to instantaneously watch Gilmore Girls on a bad day?) So far I have only watched Kiki's Delivery Service lol

Also, funny anecdote: last week I got my period and was VICIOUSLY craving alcohol. like I went to the store and bought the most bizarre range of random things (soju, honey jack, and mead...and then proceeded to drink them at my normal rate lmao). Realized afterwards this is a combination of my usual craving for sweet things + my very stressed coworker constantly joking about how we need to crack a bottle of something when this stressful project is finished. At the time however I thought my uterus was trying to make me an alcoholic.

Did my budgeting with my new rent and discovered that I'm actually fine, because I had DOUBLED A NUMBER SOMEHOW! and I basically had $150/month freed up. I'm so smart. I continue to procrastinate my income tax though (shhhh I have another month....)

Started writing a vague story about two women hiking to a portal to elfland, which is located near an abandoned train station. There are cultists called vampires living at said train station who are such a fucking delight to write (not real bloodsucking vampires tho, they are currently eating paella 🥘). It's fun and weird and I'm having a good time with it.

started listening to a podcast called No One Should Believe Me about cases involving Munchausens by Proxy, which is very interesting. the host has a sister with (alleged) MbP and genuinely wants to get her (and of course her kids) help, so it's actually a really good, compassionate take on an issue that's usually played for shock value. I have to listen to it slowly though bc it's Heavy

started knitting again! made 1 dishcloth and started a second. have decided I'm going to take these into work when I have a few done. If my boss won't buy us proper cloths then I'll pawn my knitting practice off on them lol

there is a lot of early road construction near my office since, aside from that random snowstorm, it's been a mild early spring. be glad you haven't had to listen to me rant about that lol

finally bucked up and got a duvet cover for my comforter that was lowkey falling apart at the seams. it's a good comforter aside from some light "my washer is evil" damage so I'm happy I can stuff it into a (less expensive) duvet cover instead of having to replace the whole thing

[pan-magi]

Heads up that I won't have much to post for a while. I'm moving! Back home for a bit while I'm figuring stuff out (like not being broke). Before, when I mentioned my slow activity I left for a few years. Don't worry, I'm not planning on doing that. I have a backlog of... shitpost ideas, which I will post when I have time. If I have the sudden urge and energy to get some of my longer text posts done then I'll try to do them. Any edits and gifs though will be on the back burner for a while.

(That's the gist of it. If you want a mental health discussion and my general thought process on tumblr, read more if curious. It's more of the vein of "tumblr is an addictive website for me" than "this site is destructive and damning." jsyk)

I know I have it in my blog description that the blog is semi-archived. I have been doing my best though to at least post somewhat regularly. The rate for posting may not be fast per number of posts but for me working on them it is very time and energy consuming (yay executive dysfunction and undiagnosed ADHD woo). It doesn't help either not using Photoshop anymore making gifs is lot less streamlined (get all my necessary screenshots frame by frame and organize them -> edit each individually -> put them together with final edits to make a gif. All in 3 separate programs). My wallet appreciates the decision at least.

The thing is I put that in the description not for the lack of time I have to do stuff but the opposite. I have a lot of empty time to fill. Tumblr is one of the few social media sites I actually use and even with the ability to curate your dash (maybe in part because of it), it is easy for tumblr to be addictive without noticing it. That's with me not bothering with the app. I do check a lot with the mobile browser though. I knew with my attention span and how I tend to do or not get things done that being consistently active would not be the best for me personally. Not bad, per say, but not great.

I love you all. It's been great to see a few of my older followers still interact with my posts from time to time. It's nice to see new ones and the Magi fandom in general getting new people coming in, maybe just for the tumblr side or maybe new altogether, when the series has been complete for years. When I say tumblr is not good for me, I don't mean you. Lots of love for everyone /platonically, my aroace ass wants to clarify and add on a giant thank you for no aphobic hate by anyone here either. I would not have trusted to come out on tumblr even if I had my identity figured out when I was active before.

I do want to keep people satisfied. Analytics shouldn't matter on this hellsite, and they don't, not really. I don't care about what the number is but seeing any notes on my posts is a quick dopamine rush. "Yay, I made someone smile." If I have a free moment, I'm like "I should check tumblr," or "I should work on post for blog." I enjoy what I make and enjoy doing it. However, it's become more attempting to be active and getting something out there despite saying I will manage juggling all sorts of different stuff better. I'm not doing other recreational stuff I want to do. I'm behind on games, movies, books, creative shit outside of tumblr, watching Magi for at least the fifth time... If I have a free moment I'm "work on tumblr post."

It's dumb. I should be able to manage shit better. Again, ADHD. Or maybe it's something else. IDFK.

All this to say that I'm taking the excuse of moving to force myself out of the tumblr sphere. I won't have the time or energy to get larger time-consuming posts done. I might as well focus on something else when I have the opportunity.

I am not planning on disappearing. I do like it here. Stayed too long at the spa though and need to get out and get cool, fresh air. I have short, borderline/actual shitposts I want to get done, as mentioned up top. One may be up in the next week. Who knows though? I don't. What I do know is that if I post something over the summer it will be because it is something I want to get done, when I want it to get done. No rushing myself pointlessly. It will be little things though. Bigger edits and gifs aren't hard yet tedious and draining when I'll be buried in boxes and working on home repairs for the immediate future.

Everyone take care of yourselves out there. If you read all this, thanks! Now, I've spent over an hour working on this when it was supposed to take me 15-20 minutes, and I need to sleep lol.

[lucythornwalter]

So this is going to be a long reply, but coming from a slightly different perspective - I agree with everything you’re saying here, but I think there are some additional points that are worth considering.

I’ve been on Tumblr since 2011; I abandoned my old main blog because I wanted a change of pace but I had a little over 3k followers there with an extremely high degree of engagement and multiple posts with six-digit note counts. There wasn’t a gap (so, I didn’t abandon Tumblr for another platform, I just immediately made a new blog). Starting fresh - as in, not tying my current blog to my old blog, not making an effort to court my old following, focusing on my original work over fanworks and meta - has made me notice some things about General Artsy Tumblr that isn’t true about fandom Tumblr, and has given me a lot of things to think about re: art and engagement.

First, in a lot of fandoms, fandom blogs do troll tags regularly with the specific intent to find new stuff and talk to new people and engage in new conversations; this is of course more common for stuff people already like than original work but it is disheartening if you don’t want to focus on fandoms with all the drama that already exists. It’s a wildly different experience joining a fandom (where people will be excited for new blood) vs posting into the void.

Second, original stuff gets noticed if you happen to be on the dash of the right people who will see it at the right time. If you have less than 100 followers, it’s a crapshoot if people will notice your work at all, and if you’re a new blog you have to post in tags and gain a few followers for a few days before your posts even reliably show up. If you’re in a fandom and you’re excited about making things, that urge can carry you through the initial disappointment of No Friends, but original works by people who are neither established nor posting in popular fandom tags often float by with no engagement.

And that’s not a catastrophic thing, but it is disheartening. I was psychologically prepared for this - I spent a good six years on Tumblr with barely any interaction with anyone; I’m here for the long haul - but if you’re not prepared for days that become weeks that become months with nobody talking to you at all, it is disheartening. I don’t think people are wrong to be frustrated by it. I’d also like to add that interacting with people when you have an established presence or a shared interest gets a different response than reblogging with tags or commentary when you genuinely want to make connections with people but have less than 100 followers - I’ve been seriously interacting with people and my most “successful” follower gains have been after making fandom posts, which I started doing seriously so I could get eyes on the rest of my work.

None of this is some kind of condemnation - you’re absolutely right that in order to get the most out of Tumblr you have to post into the void and do what you want and just kind of hope you find your people. But it is a longer grind that requires continuous work simply to be seen unless you’re starting off by targeting a fandom space that (in my experience) does not care at all once you stop posting the things that you’re known for. I’m prepared for it, but I do bemoan people liking my posts but not reblogging them, and not sending asks, and seemingly not noticing replies or reblogs. (And I’ve also been doing a project that has me crossposting on an app called Combyne that’s somewhere between Instagram and Polyvore; I’ve been there for a few days and I’ve been getting a lot of interaction there with less effort than Tumblr. I’m also on Bluesky; people do interact more there with original work and there are hashtags designed to help users find community around art and original fiction that are regularly checked.)

tldr (because I can’t shut up) - you’re right that a lot of people are just entitled, but I do think that there are serious barriers beyond the psychological to becoming an Established Tumblr Presence, especially if you don’t have anyone you’re regularly interacting with here. But also, imho a significant part of this is psychological, and more people trying to use Tumblr for self-promotion should be aware that you’re gonna have to grind with limited reward, and that it’s a lot harder than being a fandom blogger because there’s nobody serving as a welcoming committee.

Looking through the notes on the post about Tumblr being terrible for artists, and seeing people talk about how people don't reblog art or follow artists just seems kind of bonkers to me considering that my first post to crack 1000 notes was a drawing back when I had like 600 followers and it gave me a panic attack that so many people were looking at my stuff.

And this week I managed to pick up about 5k additional notes on a reblog of a zine from 2021, pushing it over 13k notes (no tumblr radar, no promotion, no cross promotion, people just like the dog zine and it's currently showing up on a bunch of people's dashes. Because they're sharing it. Because they like it. So I'm sorry i also just don't really see the "people don't reblog art here" thing - there is art on my dash all day long, i reblog art, and people reblog my art. I don't know why people aren't reblogging your art, but yeah I do think it's kind of entitled when people lament the likes to reblog ratio. There's someone in that other post saying that tumblr has never been good for them because they don't make art on popular subjects and I'm sorry but popular things will get more attention than unpopular things. I am unsurprised when my Twin Peaks art gets more attention than a cartoon about Drop Dead Fred. Yes, kitty drawings are probably going to perform better than conceptual art here! People here like cats! That doesn't mean you only have to draw cats to get attention, but you should be realistic about why your OCs aren't as widely shared as, say, fanart of a popular ship.)

There are a bunch of artists talking about how actually you shouldn't have to have your entire personality online or promote yourself to promote your art, that tumblr is bad for art because what's "good" for art is sites like IG and DA where the art speaks for itself and spreads because people like it.

But.

Like.

That has never been my experience of those sites. I've been on DeviantArt for nearly twice as long as I've been on tumblr, and barring a webcomic artist commenting on some fanworks i made and tagged in their very small Fandom, i can't remember any interactions with people i didn't know personally, or pieces that got more than a couple hundred views. I stopped posting on DA mostly because it felt kind of, well, dead. Unless you pulled off something *ridiculously* clever (i guess i had one clever fiber art post that got a little traction in 2012) or with a pretty significant level of technical skill, nobody would look at it.

That first drawing that i had that went "viral" on tumblr (i think it ended up with 30k notes) was done with a ballpoint pen on some printer paper during my lunch break. It was kind of hot garbage actually, in terms of being "art."

The tiny Bastard zine wouldn't perform on DA or IG. It's too many panels to scroll through and no single panel is "good" as a standalone piece and it's not a style I draw in often enough that people would look for it specifically like the "oh no" comics that are allowed to be "bad" art (those are not bad art, btw).

The moving eye drawing might get attention on IG, but what the fuck would I do to present the companion piece, which is vertical?

One of the reasons that tumblr has never felt "dead" for me as an artist is that I've never felt the need to conform to a specific style or medium in order to get people to look at what I'm making.

Pornographic fanart altoids tin dollhouse? Sure.

Detailed pen-and-ink papercraft illustration that moves? Hell yeah.

Messy sketch of Argumate with the bowsette power crown as a shitpost? Cool.

Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck as Sam and Frodo bickering about throwing the ring into Mt. Doom on the end of someone else's post? Yep.

Ballpoint pen comic about rape culture? Yeah.

50 pages of a weekly grayscale comic about alt subcultures? Why the hell not.

Rainbow squiggly line digital drawing done in the ER? Yeah okay.

Advil chicken? You bet.

Gru excitedly telling people that practice means more than talent appended to a post about fanart? Not only yes but hell yes tumblr fucking loves "boobs" goblins and reaction images and reading people's posts as prompts.

Like, I get that artists want people to focus on and appreciate the art, but there's a BW architecture photographer in those notes lamenting the loss of curative aesthetic blogs that heavily relied on the tags.

Bud. People come here to chill. I absolutely love following brutalist and art deco and desert photography blogs, but what you're telling me is that the only reason tumblr is dead for you these days is that other people were collecting an audience for you. Your problem isn't that tumblr is dead, it's that your art fit the dark academia style and was shared by people who had strict themes for their aesthetic blogs, which is not particularly popular in 2024.

I don't follow any tags. I almost never tag my art. The "downfall of tagging culture" is not something I've experienced on tumblr because it's not something that was ever important or useful for me as an artist here, tags were always far, far behind "people who followed me for wild stories/shitposting/ranting" in terms of getting eyeballs on my art.

"Tumblr *is* dead for art because people used to follow tags" - friend, it is easier than ever to read and follow tags, but that is simply not the current culture of the site. People also used to make jokes based on post threading. "Just _____ things" used to be the favored style of gimmick blog. Are you telling me you haven't changed how you interact with tumblr since the days of superwholock?

You shouldn't have to put your entire personality on display to get followers for your art, i do agree with that. But you can't keep using a site that used to be drastically different and expect it to work the same (and people don't expect that on other sites - artist behavior changed on twitter and IG when they went non-chronological, artist behavior broadened to include reels and short video on IG, artists talk about posting schedules that will make sure they stay relevant to the algorithm on twitter, but you think this site is dead because there aren't aesthetic blogs trawling the tags and sharing your stuff anymore?! Keep up. "no sideblogs, you get to drink from the firehose" has been a prevailing attitude here for at least 4 years)

Anyway. Here's some art that I've had great success with on tumblr that has gotten zero traction elsewhere.

I'm in the enviable position of not relying on aesthetic blogs, which is good because I'm not someone with a clear aesthetic, and no aesthetic blog is going to get me thousands of notes on big titty duolingo owl or gaussian blur advil chicken.

(Btw, Gaussian blur advil chicken is heavily inspired by Chris Maggio, an artist i found and whose work i fell in love with on tumblr!)